There's a fellow in my world that has the insight of a prophet, and whenever we chat together, I realize how fortunate I truly am, to be related to him by blood.
My father, Peter, is totally in tune with the universe. He's the kind of man you want to have in your corner. He has so much to impart, and everything he says is, in my humble opinion, ACES.
A few months ago, after having breakfast at our favorite bagel spot, he gave me an analogy to think about, and since then, it stuck in my brain. The concept is difficult to master. But, it can be done.
Grab a plunger. Clear out the shit.
It's simple, really: no matter what you're presented with, grab a plunger and suck out the obstruction. Empty the pipes, so to speak.
It's so true. Why do we put up with so much shit? Are we masochists?
Every time your body gives you cues or signals, that's your intuition talking to you. Your body will never lie to you. Pay deeper attention to it, every single day, without fail. Don't ever stop listening to the pulse of your own vessel.
When you're finally on the right path, you will KNOW it.
You have to be ready and willing to eliminate the crap that no longer serves you. You can't hold off any longer. Don't let it fester any more than it already has.
The clearer the path, the lighter you'll feel. GUARANTEED.
So, go ahead: be with the people who make you laugh and make you forget about your troubles, if only for a little while. And do things that move you. Make it easier for yourself.
JUST KEEP PLUNGING AWAY.
Saturday 8 August 2015
Saturday 28 February 2015
Be your own advocate...
I've always believed, that there's nothing like starting the day on the right foot. I'm truly lucky to have the wonderful Jeffrey R. Smith in my world, because every couple of weeks, we get together and bounce ideas and stories off each other. There's always a ton of knowledge and wisdom thrown around. With both of us born under the sign of the bull (Taurus), it has its perks. I'm privy to hearing his logical perspective on many universal topics. His words are enlightening, his viewpoints are refreshing and at his core, he's very earthy, reliable and loyal. Good combination.
Which brings me to the topic of this post...and thanks for idea, Jeffrey.
When we're young, we are all trying to find our way in the world. We try things, we mess up, we learn (hopefully), we experience 'growing pains'. But, when we're established, mature (hopefully) and well on our way, who is responsible for our daily routines? Who is the one to propel us to greatness? Who decides whether we are sick, healthy, lazy, motivated? We are.
I used to be really skilled at the blame game. I rarely took responsibility for my actions. In my 20's, I was frivolous, careless, and had a 'devil may care' attitude towards life. I was promiscuous, lost, depressed and I kept hitting walls. I didn't know how to steer myself away from pain. I ended up stuck. I hated it, immensely.
When I became my own advocate, things began to transform. Slowly. Inch by inch, I gained more insight, more power and a deeper sense of hope. It all began when I started to live on my own. I would come home every day to my condo in the sky and then, it would get really quiet. I truly relished in my 'alone time' and knew that this was a big test put in front of me, to see if I could fly on my own. But I still screwed up. A lot.
After a seven year run of being 'solo' in my one bedroom abode, I started to get really sick of it. I became fearful of being alone. From 2003 to 2010, I had an opportunity to shape my life, in any way I wished. It was frightening, exciting and maddening, all at once. I remember waking up sometimes as early as 3am, writing fervently in my journal, dancing to house music that blared from my headphones, sweating away my sorrows, releasing my anguish. But it didn't really get rid of my pain. I was just covering it up. I did anything to numb my feelings.
When I moved out of my condo, I met Jason, and bought a house, and became a wife, and started pooling my resources with him. And miraculously, everything fell into place. I became my own advocate for truth, responsible behaviour, true love. And for the first time, I felt liberated and my body started humming in a way I hadn't felt before. I was finally on the right path. It took me almost 40 years, my friends, but I found my true calling. And all the pain I felt for decades beforehand, was worth it.
In life, you are always going to be your own boss. No one in this world will hit you harder than life will. Life will knock you down, perhaps a multitude of times, before you learn some hard-core, valuable lessons. You will feel agonizing anguish. You will scar. But, you will rise from all your troubles and become unstoppable, IF you take yourself seriously, IF you lead yourself into the light, IF you believe it's possible. You must push. You must not give in.
Because there will be days when you throw your hands in the air and say, F**K it all! There will be moments when all your hope is gone and you need something or someone to dig you out of your self-imposed vortex. Do not let that happen for too long, amigos.
BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, without anyone's aid. Only you know what you truly need to shine bright, sing loud, and live large.
It isn't easy, but it isn't hard, either. Through trial and error, you will be ok. Through perseverance, patience and a willingness to change, through good, bad, ugly, pretty and everything in-between, you will be successful.
I speak from experience. Believe my words. Believe in yourself, honestly, completely, fully. Life will not disappoint you if you are genuinely living YOUR TRUTH.
Which brings me to the topic of this post...and thanks for idea, Jeffrey.
When we're young, we are all trying to find our way in the world. We try things, we mess up, we learn (hopefully), we experience 'growing pains'. But, when we're established, mature (hopefully) and well on our way, who is responsible for our daily routines? Who is the one to propel us to greatness? Who decides whether we are sick, healthy, lazy, motivated? We are.
I used to be really skilled at the blame game. I rarely took responsibility for my actions. In my 20's, I was frivolous, careless, and had a 'devil may care' attitude towards life. I was promiscuous, lost, depressed and I kept hitting walls. I didn't know how to steer myself away from pain. I ended up stuck. I hated it, immensely.
When I became my own advocate, things began to transform. Slowly. Inch by inch, I gained more insight, more power and a deeper sense of hope. It all began when I started to live on my own. I would come home every day to my condo in the sky and then, it would get really quiet. I truly relished in my 'alone time' and knew that this was a big test put in front of me, to see if I could fly on my own. But I still screwed up. A lot.
After a seven year run of being 'solo' in my one bedroom abode, I started to get really sick of it. I became fearful of being alone. From 2003 to 2010, I had an opportunity to shape my life, in any way I wished. It was frightening, exciting and maddening, all at once. I remember waking up sometimes as early as 3am, writing fervently in my journal, dancing to house music that blared from my headphones, sweating away my sorrows, releasing my anguish. But it didn't really get rid of my pain. I was just covering it up. I did anything to numb my feelings.
When I moved out of my condo, I met Jason, and bought a house, and became a wife, and started pooling my resources with him. And miraculously, everything fell into place. I became my own advocate for truth, responsible behaviour, true love. And for the first time, I felt liberated and my body started humming in a way I hadn't felt before. I was finally on the right path. It took me almost 40 years, my friends, but I found my true calling. And all the pain I felt for decades beforehand, was worth it.
In life, you are always going to be your own boss. No one in this world will hit you harder than life will. Life will knock you down, perhaps a multitude of times, before you learn some hard-core, valuable lessons. You will feel agonizing anguish. You will scar. But, you will rise from all your troubles and become unstoppable, IF you take yourself seriously, IF you lead yourself into the light, IF you believe it's possible. You must push. You must not give in.
Because there will be days when you throw your hands in the air and say, F**K it all! There will be moments when all your hope is gone and you need something or someone to dig you out of your self-imposed vortex. Do not let that happen for too long, amigos.
BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, without anyone's aid. Only you know what you truly need to shine bright, sing loud, and live large.
It isn't easy, but it isn't hard, either. Through trial and error, you will be ok. Through perseverance, patience and a willingness to change, through good, bad, ugly, pretty and everything in-between, you will be successful.
I speak from experience. Believe my words. Believe in yourself, honestly, completely, fully. Life will not disappoint you if you are genuinely living YOUR TRUTH.
Monday 16 February 2015
Write your wrongs, and make them right...
When did I learn that writing was one of my 'signature strengths'?
It was in Grade 4, when my teacher announced to all the students that my stories and penmanship were extraordinary. She was the first person who acknowledged my work and her positive words gave me so much confidence. I excelled in my English studies all the way through high school, as a result of her sound tutelage and guidance.
When I started university, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. Quite frankly, I was frustrated. I knew that my strong suits were in sciences, languages, physical fitness and creative writing, but I had no idea how to fuse them all together to create one solid area of interest.
Fast forward to present day--if I knew then, what I know now, I would never have lost my 'joie de vivre'. I had such high expectations for myself that even I couldn't meet, I belittled myself for making mistakes and I lost so much sleep. My health was compromised because I couldn't make concrete decisions. I lived in my own head for a long time, and I didn't have faith in the words, 'everything will be ok'.
Until, I started writing in a journal. I always thought it was so hokey, to write thoughts down on paper that no one would ever read. But to this day, I still refer to my 'tales of woe' and it frightens me that I went through most of my 20's with blinders on.
Today, it's revelatory for me. I marvel at my own fortitude and wisdom. It's like, I already knew what I had to do all those years ago, but I was never truly ready to take on my 'self-worth project'. So I wasted a lot of time. I numbed my pain. I pretended I wasn't really suffering. Big mistake.
Even though I made a lot of wrong turns and got stuck, I turned things around and things got smoother. When I try to remember what my 'light bulb moment' was, I can't for the life of me remember was the impetus was, but one day, I simply woke up. The light was on, and it was dazzling.
The reason I enjoy writing in my blog, or composing daily status updates on Facebook is simple. I love to make people feel good about themselves. I like to zero in on all kinds of topics that are universal and relevant. I want to share my vulnerabilities and weaknesses because I'm imperfect and flawed. I want to help people see how priceless they are and how precious life is, no matter how bleak their situation might be. I am on a quest to write about my wrongs, and make them seem right. Through all of my ups and downs, I know that everything happened for the right reason.
I could've chosen to stay stuck and use fear as my excuse for not making any progress. But I was never satisfied with the 'status quo'. I've always liked pushing the envelope, coloring outside the lines, getting into my discomfort zone, shaking things up, keeping things fresh. I don't like mediocrity. I strive for excellence, in everything I do.
I want to continue to inspire the people who seek my counsel. Because I'm not afraid to shine brightly, anymore. If you're reading this, be comforted by the idea that none of us are truly alone. We must feel the entire spectrum of emotions to live a quality life. So when your days are at their darkest, and communicating your feelings to someone isn't an option, try this:
Invest in a notepad or journal and write everything down in pen.
Write your wrongs. I mean, get down to the 'nitty-gritty'. Because there will come a day when you're feeling 'on top of the world', and when you refer back to your journal, everything will seem right again. You know why? Because hardships and struggles are necessary--they are put in your path intentionally, so you can truly appreciate the good times when you have them.
Take it from me, it's a good investment of your time and energy. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, never cower or hide from them. Express yourself on paper if you can't do it in person.
And revisit your compositions, from time to time. You'll learn a lot about yourself, in the process..
I know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel and at the top of my game. Writing my wrongs, was always the right thing to do. It made me who I am today.
Strong. Capable. Lively. Resilient.
And to the Universe I say, "Thank you, for always having my back."
It was in Grade 4, when my teacher announced to all the students that my stories and penmanship were extraordinary. She was the first person who acknowledged my work and her positive words gave me so much confidence. I excelled in my English studies all the way through high school, as a result of her sound tutelage and guidance.
When I started university, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. Quite frankly, I was frustrated. I knew that my strong suits were in sciences, languages, physical fitness and creative writing, but I had no idea how to fuse them all together to create one solid area of interest.
Fast forward to present day--if I knew then, what I know now, I would never have lost my 'joie de vivre'. I had such high expectations for myself that even I couldn't meet, I belittled myself for making mistakes and I lost so much sleep. My health was compromised because I couldn't make concrete decisions. I lived in my own head for a long time, and I didn't have faith in the words, 'everything will be ok'.
Until, I started writing in a journal. I always thought it was so hokey, to write thoughts down on paper that no one would ever read. But to this day, I still refer to my 'tales of woe' and it frightens me that I went through most of my 20's with blinders on.
Today, it's revelatory for me. I marvel at my own fortitude and wisdom. It's like, I already knew what I had to do all those years ago, but I was never truly ready to take on my 'self-worth project'. So I wasted a lot of time. I numbed my pain. I pretended I wasn't really suffering. Big mistake.
Even though I made a lot of wrong turns and got stuck, I turned things around and things got smoother. When I try to remember what my 'light bulb moment' was, I can't for the life of me remember was the impetus was, but one day, I simply woke up. The light was on, and it was dazzling.
The reason I enjoy writing in my blog, or composing daily status updates on Facebook is simple. I love to make people feel good about themselves. I like to zero in on all kinds of topics that are universal and relevant. I want to share my vulnerabilities and weaknesses because I'm imperfect and flawed. I want to help people see how priceless they are and how precious life is, no matter how bleak their situation might be. I am on a quest to write about my wrongs, and make them seem right. Through all of my ups and downs, I know that everything happened for the right reason.
I could've chosen to stay stuck and use fear as my excuse for not making any progress. But I was never satisfied with the 'status quo'. I've always liked pushing the envelope, coloring outside the lines, getting into my discomfort zone, shaking things up, keeping things fresh. I don't like mediocrity. I strive for excellence, in everything I do.
I want to continue to inspire the people who seek my counsel. Because I'm not afraid to shine brightly, anymore. If you're reading this, be comforted by the idea that none of us are truly alone. We must feel the entire spectrum of emotions to live a quality life. So when your days are at their darkest, and communicating your feelings to someone isn't an option, try this:
Invest in a notepad or journal and write everything down in pen.
Write your wrongs. I mean, get down to the 'nitty-gritty'. Because there will come a day when you're feeling 'on top of the world', and when you refer back to your journal, everything will seem right again. You know why? Because hardships and struggles are necessary--they are put in your path intentionally, so you can truly appreciate the good times when you have them.
Take it from me, it's a good investment of your time and energy. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, never cower or hide from them. Express yourself on paper if you can't do it in person.
And revisit your compositions, from time to time. You'll learn a lot about yourself, in the process..
I know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel and at the top of my game. Writing my wrongs, was always the right thing to do. It made me who I am today.
Strong. Capable. Lively. Resilient.
And to the Universe I say, "Thank you, for always having my back."
Wednesday 28 January 2015
The urge to purge...
We're one month into 2015, and already I've experienced a 'mixed bag' of emotions since the start of New Year. There were a few bumps on the road at the beginning of January, but I must admit: it's looking rather bright as I peer ahead into the coming months.
Every January, I tend to get very cerebral and over-think things regarding my career, my family, my close friends and myself. I begin to do my house-keeping, if you will.
I've never been more happy than I am today, in my chosen field. I have totally found my niche. But, like a chef who is only as good as his last meal, I have always thought that I am only as good as my last fitness class. In my 20's and 30's, I was plagued with insecurity because I wanted everyone to like me. But, in my 40's, I have purged the idea that I need to be a 'people pleaser'. All I need to do is be me. Take me or leave me. And I truly feel confident about that.
For me, my family is a great source of happiness. I am utterly blessed to have such supportive parents, the coolest cousins, a fantastic husband and loving in-laws. In my life, it's not uncommon for me to feel occasional disappointment from those who are closest to me. I know that I'd like a better relationship with my only sibling. I know that I'd like to be less reactive when the people who know me well 'push my buttons'. I know that to live a life free of emotional stress, I must purge any toxicity that builds in my system (via communication) and still continue to function. And I make a concerted effort to do that, every single day.
Oh, how I love my friends--especially the ones who have stuck around through all the stages of my growth. I cannot express the joy I feel to have a small group of comrades who I know, without hesitation, would be alongside me if I needed them to be. I have purged the idea that I need to have a plethora of friends to be content. I merely need a handful. I feel like I finally hit the jackpot in my 40's. And another thing: I recently eliminated 50 people from my Facebook page who no longer needed to be on my 'friend list'. My new purge rule for social media is: If I haven't seen you, spoken to you, had a meal with you in over 2 years, you simply aren't a part of my network. No offence. So, hey, if you're reading this, you're in good standing. You matter to me. I think you're fascinating.
And finally: ME. I bet you're wondering what I need to purge when it comes to how I view myself in this big, bad world. I will tell you:
I need to purge the negativity that swirls in my head, from time to time. I need to purge the anger I sometimes feel when I don't get my way. I need to purge the sarcasm that seems to flow from my mouth like a waterfall, when I don't feel I'm being validated or heard (Note: See my video blog on my Facebook page about my 40 day experiment). And finally, I continually need to get real with the person I see in the mirror, every single day. Life isn't perfect for me, it certainly isn't easy, but it needs to be lived and embraced, not strangled and suppressed.
And so, my friends, I ask you this: is there anything you need to purge this year, in order to live a life free of stress, anxiety and fear? After all, FEAR stands for 'false experiences appearing real'. What do you need to get rid of, once and for all, so you can be liberated from pain, anguish and heartache? May I make a suggestion?
Get on that, right quick. Don't delay your feelings of elation. Do your very best to uncover everything that brings a smile to your face--the people, the things, the places, the experiences. And never let that go.
Make the move, kids. It's your time to shine.
Until my next post...be healthy.
Every January, I tend to get very cerebral and over-think things regarding my career, my family, my close friends and myself. I begin to do my house-keeping, if you will.
I've never been more happy than I am today, in my chosen field. I have totally found my niche. But, like a chef who is only as good as his last meal, I have always thought that I am only as good as my last fitness class. In my 20's and 30's, I was plagued with insecurity because I wanted everyone to like me. But, in my 40's, I have purged the idea that I need to be a 'people pleaser'. All I need to do is be me. Take me or leave me. And I truly feel confident about that.
For me, my family is a great source of happiness. I am utterly blessed to have such supportive parents, the coolest cousins, a fantastic husband and loving in-laws. In my life, it's not uncommon for me to feel occasional disappointment from those who are closest to me. I know that I'd like a better relationship with my only sibling. I know that I'd like to be less reactive when the people who know me well 'push my buttons'. I know that to live a life free of emotional stress, I must purge any toxicity that builds in my system (via communication) and still continue to function. And I make a concerted effort to do that, every single day.
Oh, how I love my friends--especially the ones who have stuck around through all the stages of my growth. I cannot express the joy I feel to have a small group of comrades who I know, without hesitation, would be alongside me if I needed them to be. I have purged the idea that I need to have a plethora of friends to be content. I merely need a handful. I feel like I finally hit the jackpot in my 40's. And another thing: I recently eliminated 50 people from my Facebook page who no longer needed to be on my 'friend list'. My new purge rule for social media is: If I haven't seen you, spoken to you, had a meal with you in over 2 years, you simply aren't a part of my network. No offence. So, hey, if you're reading this, you're in good standing. You matter to me. I think you're fascinating.
And finally: ME. I bet you're wondering what I need to purge when it comes to how I view myself in this big, bad world. I will tell you:
I need to purge the negativity that swirls in my head, from time to time. I need to purge the anger I sometimes feel when I don't get my way. I need to purge the sarcasm that seems to flow from my mouth like a waterfall, when I don't feel I'm being validated or heard (Note: See my video blog on my Facebook page about my 40 day experiment). And finally, I continually need to get real with the person I see in the mirror, every single day. Life isn't perfect for me, it certainly isn't easy, but it needs to be lived and embraced, not strangled and suppressed.
And so, my friends, I ask you this: is there anything you need to purge this year, in order to live a life free of stress, anxiety and fear? After all, FEAR stands for 'false experiences appearing real'. What do you need to get rid of, once and for all, so you can be liberated from pain, anguish and heartache? May I make a suggestion?
Get on that, right quick. Don't delay your feelings of elation. Do your very best to uncover everything that brings a smile to your face--the people, the things, the places, the experiences. And never let that go.
Make the move, kids. It's your time to shine.
Until my next post...be healthy.
Monday 8 December 2014
Will you lighten up? It's just YOGA.
I've been practicing hot yoga (Bikram and Moksha), for over 11 years now. In just over a decade, I have noticed some amazing things not only in myself, but in those around me, nearly every time I enter a yoga studio or gym. It truly surprises me that such a gentle, expressive form of exercise has turned into a competition for the ego.
Let me explain: A few weeks ago, I attended a class that was jam-packed with at least 35 people, in a room cranked up to 105 degrees. I wish I could've taken a picture in that sweaty room--you should've seen every single one of these people's faces. I know a little bit about body language, and not one person I laid eyes on appeared comfortable in their own skin. I saw such intense focus on these faces. I saw strain instead of satisfaction. All of these bodies were fighting through challenging postures, instead of melting into them.
So, for all the yogis out there, I have some disclaimers for you. Here goes:
Yoga isn’t about our lifestyle, our beliefs, our weight, our diet, our flexibility, how spiritual or enlightened we are--yoga is just about showing up and doing our dance on our mats. Yoga doesn't care if you show up cranky or exhausted. Yoga doesn't care how much money you have, what house you live in, what car you drive. Yoga is just happy you show up.
One of my favorite yoga instructors of all time, Danny Noel, is proof-positive that you can give an inspiring, uplifting and challenging class that caters to every BODY in the room. His soft delivery, his perfect sequencing, his words of encouragement, his very soul--make him a gentle force to be reckoned with. In the last few years alone, I have only attended his classes called, 'Moksha Flow'; a 75 minute series that shifts from one asana (posture) to another, seamlessly and fluidly. I love how graceful and malleable I feel leaving the studio after one his sessions. The world is lucky to have this man in existence. I kid you not--11 years ago, when I first started my journey into hot yoga, HE was the man that made it so appealing and addictive. Truly, I thank G-d for him.
I don't teach hot yoga, but I do teach Hatha and Ashtanga quite regularly. Even in these classes, where heat is not a factor, people come into the room looking depressed, angry and pent up with stress. It is so evident, that every time I lead a yoga class, half the room isn't even IN THE ROOM. They are preoccupied with their routines, kids, schedules, commitments. I always wonder when I look at each individual face: Why are you here? What are you hoping to achieve today?
Yoga doesn't care what your hair looks like. Yoga doesn't care if you smoke cigarettes or drink whiskey. Yoga doesn't care what religion you believe in. Yoga doesn't care if you wear Lululemon or Spiritual Gangster. Yoga is just happy that you've taken an hour (on average) out of your day to focus on what your body truly needs--to be at peace, to be calmer, quieter, saner. Your body is craving deep inhales and exhales. Your body is asking you to focus inwardly, not outwardly. And you must obey.
And now, to be blunt: If you're coming into a yoga studio expecting the teacher to light a fire beneath you, to make you feel better and inspire you, that's one thing. But if, during your entire practice, you cannot turn the corners of your mouth up even once to crack a smile, I really feel sorry for you. Because YOGA IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS. You're meant to be light, you're meant to feel limber and lithe, and then feel luminous afterwards. What's the point of even entering the room, if you're going to walk out just as miserable and heavy as when you walked in?
And so, to all the dedicated yogis: Think really hard. Why do you practice yoga? Answer honestly. And don't be afraid to dig deep.
There is something to be learned and taken from every yoga class and experience. Whatever your experience is in any yoga class, the important thing to remember is to have fun, laugh and don't take it too seriously. The world is full of chaos. Don't bring it into the studio with you. Leave your gripes, your worries and your troubles at the door, would you? My theory: Come into the room feeling light, and leave it feeling lighter.
Peace. And, Namaste...
Let me explain: A few weeks ago, I attended a class that was jam-packed with at least 35 people, in a room cranked up to 105 degrees. I wish I could've taken a picture in that sweaty room--you should've seen every single one of these people's faces. I know a little bit about body language, and not one person I laid eyes on appeared comfortable in their own skin. I saw such intense focus on these faces. I saw strain instead of satisfaction. All of these bodies were fighting through challenging postures, instead of melting into them.
So, for all the yogis out there, I have some disclaimers for you. Here goes:
Yoga isn’t about our lifestyle, our beliefs, our weight, our diet, our flexibility, how spiritual or enlightened we are--yoga is just about showing up and doing our dance on our mats. Yoga doesn't care if you show up cranky or exhausted. Yoga doesn't care how much money you have, what house you live in, what car you drive. Yoga is just happy you show up.
One of my favorite yoga instructors of all time, Danny Noel, is proof-positive that you can give an inspiring, uplifting and challenging class that caters to every BODY in the room. His soft delivery, his perfect sequencing, his words of encouragement, his very soul--make him a gentle force to be reckoned with. In the last few years alone, I have only attended his classes called, 'Moksha Flow'; a 75 minute series that shifts from one asana (posture) to another, seamlessly and fluidly. I love how graceful and malleable I feel leaving the studio after one his sessions. The world is lucky to have this man in existence. I kid you not--11 years ago, when I first started my journey into hot yoga, HE was the man that made it so appealing and addictive. Truly, I thank G-d for him.
I don't teach hot yoga, but I do teach Hatha and Ashtanga quite regularly. Even in these classes, where heat is not a factor, people come into the room looking depressed, angry and pent up with stress. It is so evident, that every time I lead a yoga class, half the room isn't even IN THE ROOM. They are preoccupied with their routines, kids, schedules, commitments. I always wonder when I look at each individual face: Why are you here? What are you hoping to achieve today?
Yoga doesn't care what your hair looks like. Yoga doesn't care if you smoke cigarettes or drink whiskey. Yoga doesn't care what religion you believe in. Yoga doesn't care if you wear Lululemon or Spiritual Gangster. Yoga is just happy that you've taken an hour (on average) out of your day to focus on what your body truly needs--to be at peace, to be calmer, quieter, saner. Your body is craving deep inhales and exhales. Your body is asking you to focus inwardly, not outwardly. And you must obey.
And now, to be blunt: If you're coming into a yoga studio expecting the teacher to light a fire beneath you, to make you feel better and inspire you, that's one thing. But if, during your entire practice, you cannot turn the corners of your mouth up even once to crack a smile, I really feel sorry for you. Because YOGA IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS. You're meant to be light, you're meant to feel limber and lithe, and then feel luminous afterwards. What's the point of even entering the room, if you're going to walk out just as miserable and heavy as when you walked in?
And so, to all the dedicated yogis: Think really hard. Why do you practice yoga? Answer honestly. And don't be afraid to dig deep.
There is something to be learned and taken from every yoga class and experience. Whatever your experience is in any yoga class, the important thing to remember is to have fun, laugh and don't take it too seriously. The world is full of chaos. Don't bring it into the studio with you. Leave your gripes, your worries and your troubles at the door, would you? My theory: Come into the room feeling light, and leave it feeling lighter.
Peace. And, Namaste...
Tuesday 2 December 2014
Lying and cheating: A destructive duo in relationships...
While I was at work yesterday, a colleague of mine approached me to say hello and catch up on some news. During our five minute conversation, she shared with me that her boyfriend of two years cheated on her with another woman. I felt awful hearing her story. Apparently, he kept it a secret from her for months, and it was only when she cornered him with a series of questions about the subject, did he finally admit to the truth. This woman has had no end of crappy luck in her relationships. She's petite, sweet, fit and funny--any man would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend. But, seemingly, she continues to attract the same type of man: those who 'pull the wool over her eyes', those who are deceitful, lying, cheating bastards. I wonder what kind of vibe she's putting into the universe, to repeatedly attract these 'wolves in sheep's clothing'...
We all want to be adored in our relationships, don't we? We invest all of our energy, in body, mind and soul, and hope that our hearts don't end up in pieces when we give them away to our perspective mates. We hope that honesty and trust are paramount when we begin our journey with another person. But, it doesn't always end up happily.
My colleague, who admits she's quite intuitive, very trusting and extremely easy-going, was tricked. Her boyfriend obviously worked very hard to cover up his tracks and his web of lies ended up being the dynamite that destroyed their relationship. Here's the kicker: As she spoke to me, her face didn't show any signs of being visibly upset; rather, she was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, surprisingly calm, and rational. Sadly, this wasn't the first time a man had disappointed her in this way.
So, it begs the question: What kind of energy is she putting out into the cosmos, to continually attract these types of men? As intelligent, trusting and intuitive as she is, why isn't she better equipped to filter out the 'undesirables' and attract men who possess quality traits and exude 'staying power'?
Here's the theory: We teach people, through our body language and our words, how to treat us. We are constantly setting standards for ourselves and others--how we want to be spoken to, respected and loved. If we appear timid or self-conscious or unsure of ourselves, it shows to the outside world. Some men (and women) who are self-assured and successful sometimes look for mates who exhibit more submissive traits, and that's not a bad thing. It's very much like the Yin-Yang in Chinese philosophy. That's what makes the world go round. Sometimes, opposites really do attract. But, why does one have to lie and cheat their way through a relationship that is less than favorable? Wouldn't it be so much easier to fess up, be truthful and come clean with your partner?
Fear plays a big part in choosing to lie. Whether we fear losing the relationship, feel badly about a mistake made, or dislike conflict, it is best in the long run to face these vulnerabilities and fears. When you resist telling your partner that you have lost interest in sex, are you protecting your partner from feeling hurt or avoiding the challenging conversation that might create tension in your relationship?
I would argue that it hurts so much more to lie and cheat than it does to simply admit the truth. If one is truly unhappy in a relationship, one should communicate openly about it, rather than sweeping secrets under the rug. If this problem festers, it only gets worse, not better.
Lying and cheating--a destructive duo that causes nothing but anguish. Human beings are fragile creatures. We all want to find that special someone who makes our hearts sing. We all want excitement and adventure in our unions, but why cheat and lie if you're unhappy? It's a cop-out, my friends. Many of us don't have the balls to admit we're miserable and would rather make other people suffer for our mistakes. A shame, really. Love means putting your heart and soul out there, being open and vulnerable and trusting that someone doesn't stomp on your dreams.
My opinion? If you're unhappy, quickly figure out what you need to do to get happier. Open your mouth and talk to your partner. It's time to reveal your weaknesses, divulge your deepest desires, and show your true colors. Give up on the idea of stretching the truth. If you're reading this and you really want 'out' of your relationship, you'd better start talking with your mate. Stop lying and cheating. Save yourself and your mate from unnecessary torment. Do the right thing.
Tuesday 18 November 2014
Straighten up and fly right...
These are the lyrics in the chorus of the song made famous by Nat King Cole:
Straighten up and fly right,
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.
Ain't no use in divin',
What's the use in jivin'?
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.
Let me officially welcome all of you to the Winter of 2014. According to the 'experts', it promises to be colder than last winter. Really? You mean we get to experience another polar vortex and freeze our cojones (balls) again? Super.
There are many reasons why I've chosen to use Nat King Cole's famous lyrics in this post. They make sense, especially in these frigid temperatures--people lose their patience and get aggravated so easily. The days are shorter and it gets darker sooner. The cold doesn't bring out the 'best' in people. It brings out the worst. We start to hunch when we walk to protect ourselves from the chill, and our desire to hibernate starts to set in. The weather seemingly dictates our moods, and suddenly, we don't 'fly' right. There's a rhythm that we miss: like balmy breezes, patios, and social gatherings that are effortless, as the warm weather permits us to enjoy the great outdoors, in all its glory.
But, not in the winter. If you look around, most of the strangers you see are less than happy and wear sullen looks on their faces. People have to bundle up and bear the harsh temperatures. I totally get it. I'd rather be in shorts and a tank-top. But, what's the use in jivin'? Cool down, papa, don't blow your top.
I've said it before, and I will continue to remind you: Life is too short. In 2014, I've seen angst, heartache, despair, deep loss, sudden trauma. People's lives have been thrown upside-down in the bat of an eyelash. And, what does one do to cope? Anything but face reality. Anything that doesn't make us feel physical and mental anguish. Anything to get numb. But, I'm here to tell you that 2015 is going to be different. How do I know this? Because it's time to change your attitude. It's time to change how you see things.
It's hard to 'fly right', isn't it? To stay on course, to be humble, to be patient, to be loving, to be accepting--it's so easy for us to revert back to behaviors that no longer serve us. Change is extremely difficult. It takes a great deal of fortitude and willingness to make adjustments to our personalities, doesn't it?
I don't like incessant complaining. It makes me irate, because I used to be an incessant complainer. Do you see that? What I once was, I now cannot tolerate. I used to procrastinate, sit on my laurels and just whine about the fact that life dealt me shitty cards. I used to 'numb' myself in ways I'd rather not mention, but let's just say, I was a lost soul. Ain't no use in divin'...
I am pleased to say that after a decade of trial and error, I dug myself out of a hole. I'm not exaggerating one bit. I was at the bottom of the proverbial barrel. I clawed and scratched and clenched and suffered physically. And one day, I straightened up and started to fly right. I sought counsel. I healed myself from the inside-out. I asked for help when I needed it. I brought myself out from the depths of despair. It wasn't an easy journey. But I'm here to tell the tale: I kicked ass and took names. I made a name for myself. I developed a reputation. I earned trust back. I rose above the fray and overcame major hardships. I was proud. I am proud.
So, let me ask you: What makes YOU blow your top? Are you an impatient person? Do you abhor incompetence? Do people get on your nerves easily?
WHY? Ask yourself this question and be LASER about it. Don't dilly-dally, don't sugar-coat, don't embellish. What really pisses you off, and why do you allow it to get under your skin? If life really is too short, then cool down, papa/mama/sista/brotha, don't blow your top. With the holidays around the corner, gift-giving and social gatherings and traffic jams are inevitable. Be patient, this holday season. Practice breathing a little deeper. We don't do enough stretching, as a species. We don't give ourselves enough gifts. Self-care is lacking in a big way, people! When you give yourself gifts, the people in your circles benefit.
So for the upcoming year 2015, straighten up and stay right. Practice. Persist. Push. Prod. Persevere. Please?
Prego. You've been a delight. Hope you enjoyed reading my post. I appreciate you stopping by. Until next time...
Straighten up and fly right,
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.
Ain't no use in divin',
What's the use in jivin'?
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.
Let me officially welcome all of you to the Winter of 2014. According to the 'experts', it promises to be colder than last winter. Really? You mean we get to experience another polar vortex and freeze our cojones (balls) again? Super.
There are many reasons why I've chosen to use Nat King Cole's famous lyrics in this post. They make sense, especially in these frigid temperatures--people lose their patience and get aggravated so easily. The days are shorter and it gets darker sooner. The cold doesn't bring out the 'best' in people. It brings out the worst. We start to hunch when we walk to protect ourselves from the chill, and our desire to hibernate starts to set in. The weather seemingly dictates our moods, and suddenly, we don't 'fly' right. There's a rhythm that we miss: like balmy breezes, patios, and social gatherings that are effortless, as the warm weather permits us to enjoy the great outdoors, in all its glory.
But, not in the winter. If you look around, most of the strangers you see are less than happy and wear sullen looks on their faces. People have to bundle up and bear the harsh temperatures. I totally get it. I'd rather be in shorts and a tank-top. But, what's the use in jivin'? Cool down, papa, don't blow your top.
I've said it before, and I will continue to remind you: Life is too short. In 2014, I've seen angst, heartache, despair, deep loss, sudden trauma. People's lives have been thrown upside-down in the bat of an eyelash. And, what does one do to cope? Anything but face reality. Anything that doesn't make us feel physical and mental anguish. Anything to get numb. But, I'm here to tell you that 2015 is going to be different. How do I know this? Because it's time to change your attitude. It's time to change how you see things.
It's hard to 'fly right', isn't it? To stay on course, to be humble, to be patient, to be loving, to be accepting--it's so easy for us to revert back to behaviors that no longer serve us. Change is extremely difficult. It takes a great deal of fortitude and willingness to make adjustments to our personalities, doesn't it?
I don't like incessant complaining. It makes me irate, because I used to be an incessant complainer. Do you see that? What I once was, I now cannot tolerate. I used to procrastinate, sit on my laurels and just whine about the fact that life dealt me shitty cards. I used to 'numb' myself in ways I'd rather not mention, but let's just say, I was a lost soul. Ain't no use in divin'...
I am pleased to say that after a decade of trial and error, I dug myself out of a hole. I'm not exaggerating one bit. I was at the bottom of the proverbial barrel. I clawed and scratched and clenched and suffered physically. And one day, I straightened up and started to fly right. I sought counsel. I healed myself from the inside-out. I asked for help when I needed it. I brought myself out from the depths of despair. It wasn't an easy journey. But I'm here to tell the tale: I kicked ass and took names. I made a name for myself. I developed a reputation. I earned trust back. I rose above the fray and overcame major hardships. I was proud. I am proud.
So, let me ask you: What makes YOU blow your top? Are you an impatient person? Do you abhor incompetence? Do people get on your nerves easily?
WHY? Ask yourself this question and be LASER about it. Don't dilly-dally, don't sugar-coat, don't embellish. What really pisses you off, and why do you allow it to get under your skin? If life really is too short, then cool down, papa/mama/sista/brotha, don't blow your top. With the holidays around the corner, gift-giving and social gatherings and traffic jams are inevitable. Be patient, this holday season. Practice breathing a little deeper. We don't do enough stretching, as a species. We don't give ourselves enough gifts. Self-care is lacking in a big way, people! When you give yourself gifts, the people in your circles benefit.
So for the upcoming year 2015, straighten up and stay right. Practice. Persist. Push. Prod. Persevere. Please?
Prego. You've been a delight. Hope you enjoyed reading my post. I appreciate you stopping by. Until next time...
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