Yesterday, as I was driving home, a police officer pulled me over for turning left in an intersection, just as the light was changing from yellow to red. The nose of my car was already past 'the point of no return', and the cop simply decided to nail me. It took me a few hours after I was handed a hefty fine to calm down. FYI: Did you know that there is now an option on traffic tickets to have your fine reduced, without going to court, if you mail your ticket to your local municipality within 15 days?
I kept mulling over the reason as to WHY I got the ticket. And I thought, if there's a reason for everything, then surely there was some reasonable explanation as to why I got stopped. You know what the reason was? The cop was simply doing his job, and I was the sucker who got caught.
KARMA is a bitch. You live your life trying to do everything right, and some days, it's hard to keep your head above water. Me? I go to work, and I get snarky attitudes from all kinds of people. I walk the streets of Toronto and see doom and gloom on the faces of people walking by me. And you know something? I get it--life's hard and it's a challenge to plaster a smile on your face all the time. There's so much angst and aggression and chaos that exists in our world--why, oh why can't people keep it together?? Because we need to experience the entire spectrum of our emotions. That's karma.
When my grandmother was recently hospitalized, I began to question the universe and G-d. Why did such a lovely, unassuming, thriving lady get struck with a hemorrhagic stroke? What was the lesson my family had to learn from this horrible incident? I'll tell you what it was: the art of patience. We're a tough bunch, my family--we're very vocal and often aggressive. And my grandmother's hardship softened all of us. We had no choice but to 'walk on eggshells' with each other.
Interesting correlation: I believe that the recent lunar eclipse (blood moon) had a major impact on us, as a species. I spoke to many people who felt depleted, dehydrated, deflated and depressed during the week that followed the Oct 8th eclipse. WOW--the cosmos really does have an effect on our moods and well-being. THAT'S KARMA. As hard as it is to grasp, we were all supposed to feel this heaviness. And without difficulty and strife, we would never know what happiness feels like.
When it comes to people I've lost through death or severe illness, I throw my hands in the air from frustration and utter sadness, because we have no control over who goes and who stays. The most amazing people can lose their lives in the blink of an eye, and when their number is up, there's nothing anyone can do to change the course of history. KARMA SUCKS. There are intense lessons to be learned in times of great hardship. We can kick and scream, but, for how long? We have to fight through some agonizing times. We have to survive.
Here's what we all need to do more of: RELAX. SLEEP. INDULGE IN PEACEFUL EXPERIENCES. We need to forget our troubles sometimes and immerse ourselves in beauty. We can't deny ourselves simple pleasures.
We have to allow ourselves to make colossal mistakes. That's how we learn. That's how we mature. If we didn't make errors, how in the world would we know the right way to conduct ourselves?
KARMA bites. Yes, life can take a big bite out of you--but you need to gnaw and claw and inch your way back to the light, where you can sprout into your greatest self. Don't let karma win. Fight back.
I know you have it in you. WE ALL DO.
Thursday, 16 October 2014
Saturday, 13 September 2014
PATIENCE with PATIENTS...
Two heartbreaking life events have taken place in my world in the last year, each one occurring on August 29th. On that date in 2013, I was just coming home from Las Vegas when we got the news that my cousin David passed away. And on that same date just 2 weeks ago, my grandmother suffered a stroke. August 29th is also my father's birthday. So you can see why this particular date is both joyful and painful for me.
When something happens in your life that hits so close to home, it really has a way of shaking you to your core. Losing my cousin David was heart-wrenching for me, because just shy of his 40th birthday, he left us. A year after his passing, I still continue to look at my life and the world around me with different eyes. Similarly, when I got the call that my grandmother had a stroke recently, I was devastated. An 88 year-old energetic beauty who was once independent, was now bed-ridden. Since her admission into the hospital, I have not missed a day seeing her. She is my only living grandparent. I have gone on vacations with this woman. She has a unique and impressive energy that everyone notices. She's a survivor, a nurturer, a quiet and patient individual. And as G-d is my witness, I will do anything in my power to help her through this devastating affliction.
Every morning when I see my Buba (as I lovingly call her), I kiss her face and hands, whisper 'good morning' in her ear, and start massaging her feet. In fact, I've been studying the art of reflexology recently, and have been trying to heal my grandmother with some acupressure. Apparently, certain treatments I've already given her have worked and whether the energy is coming from me or a higher power, she is slowly healing. It will take time, but she will come around. It may not be the exact same quality of life she had before the stroke, but she will be here for another good while, yet.
I've been watching the other patients who share the same room as my grandmother, this week. They don't get the same kind of care as my grandmother does. Why? Because my family is proactive. My grandmother is never left alone, because one of us is always by her side, making sure she's getting proper care. Sadly, I've noticed that the other patients don't get regular visitors too often and the nurses on staff are so busy sometimes, they forget to administer medications and deliver meals on time. Our health care system really does suck.
I never knew how lax the medical world was until I witnessed it with my own eyes. It frightens me, actually. Hospitals are usually dingy, damp and disgusting. People look miserable because all they see day in and day out, is misery. It's no wonder so many of the medical staff I see are overweight, jaded and utterly unhappy with their lives. I've been keeping my eyes wide open these past two weeks and frankly, I'm disheartened with what I see. Yes, hospitals are sad places. But, a lot of the people working in them are quite sad, as well. They hate their jobs. They're impatient, quick to judge and visibly tired.
Doctors are not gods. They do NOT know everything. And it is our job to learn and get educated about our family's ailments. And I firmly believe that when it is your family member who is suffering, you want them to get the best attention and care. That is why my family ROCKS. I've seen so many wonderful and tender moments that have made my heart soar, this week alone. I'm honored to see my mom, my aunt Tami, my uncle Pete, my cousins, my husband and all of our family friends and relatives giving my grandmother attention and well-wishes. It's a beautiful thing...
Patience-- the one trait that so many of us lack. In sickness, one must make efforts to be more patient, because the healing process can often be lengthy. For my Buba, it will take a long while for her to come around. But, she's proven the medical staff wrong since she's been in the hospital, and for that, I am elated. They'd given us some unfavorable prognoses for her recovery in the past few days but already, she has made strides. The simple act of her opening her eyes for more than a few minutes yesterday, made me well up with tears.
I love that woman. She's a strong, dedicated warrior. She makes me so proud. I will not stop offering my healing energy to the lady that I adore. I will continue to practice patience with my favorite patient--she never complains, is gentle, has the softest skin, and expresses her thanks every day, because she's aware and happy that her family is around her. She WILL make it through this.
Dear G-d: Thank you from the depths of my soul, for keeping my BUBA alive. Give her the power to heal from the inside out, one small step at a time, and please keep her with us for years to come.
When something happens in your life that hits so close to home, it really has a way of shaking you to your core. Losing my cousin David was heart-wrenching for me, because just shy of his 40th birthday, he left us. A year after his passing, I still continue to look at my life and the world around me with different eyes. Similarly, when I got the call that my grandmother had a stroke recently, I was devastated. An 88 year-old energetic beauty who was once independent, was now bed-ridden. Since her admission into the hospital, I have not missed a day seeing her. She is my only living grandparent. I have gone on vacations with this woman. She has a unique and impressive energy that everyone notices. She's a survivor, a nurturer, a quiet and patient individual. And as G-d is my witness, I will do anything in my power to help her through this devastating affliction.
Every morning when I see my Buba (as I lovingly call her), I kiss her face and hands, whisper 'good morning' in her ear, and start massaging her feet. In fact, I've been studying the art of reflexology recently, and have been trying to heal my grandmother with some acupressure. Apparently, certain treatments I've already given her have worked and whether the energy is coming from me or a higher power, she is slowly healing. It will take time, but she will come around. It may not be the exact same quality of life she had before the stroke, but she will be here for another good while, yet.
I've been watching the other patients who share the same room as my grandmother, this week. They don't get the same kind of care as my grandmother does. Why? Because my family is proactive. My grandmother is never left alone, because one of us is always by her side, making sure she's getting proper care. Sadly, I've noticed that the other patients don't get regular visitors too often and the nurses on staff are so busy sometimes, they forget to administer medications and deliver meals on time. Our health care system really does suck.
I never knew how lax the medical world was until I witnessed it with my own eyes. It frightens me, actually. Hospitals are usually dingy, damp and disgusting. People look miserable because all they see day in and day out, is misery. It's no wonder so many of the medical staff I see are overweight, jaded and utterly unhappy with their lives. I've been keeping my eyes wide open these past two weeks and frankly, I'm disheartened with what I see. Yes, hospitals are sad places. But, a lot of the people working in them are quite sad, as well. They hate their jobs. They're impatient, quick to judge and visibly tired.
Doctors are not gods. They do NOT know everything. And it is our job to learn and get educated about our family's ailments. And I firmly believe that when it is your family member who is suffering, you want them to get the best attention and care. That is why my family ROCKS. I've seen so many wonderful and tender moments that have made my heart soar, this week alone. I'm honored to see my mom, my aunt Tami, my uncle Pete, my cousins, my husband and all of our family friends and relatives giving my grandmother attention and well-wishes. It's a beautiful thing...
Patience-- the one trait that so many of us lack. In sickness, one must make efforts to be more patient, because the healing process can often be lengthy. For my Buba, it will take a long while for her to come around. But, she's proven the medical staff wrong since she's been in the hospital, and for that, I am elated. They'd given us some unfavorable prognoses for her recovery in the past few days but already, she has made strides. The simple act of her opening her eyes for more than a few minutes yesterday, made me well up with tears.
I love that woman. She's a strong, dedicated warrior. She makes me so proud. I will not stop offering my healing energy to the lady that I adore. I will continue to practice patience with my favorite patient--she never complains, is gentle, has the softest skin, and expresses her thanks every day, because she's aware and happy that her family is around her. She WILL make it through this.
Dear G-d: Thank you from the depths of my soul, for keeping my BUBA alive. Give her the power to heal from the inside out, one small step at a time, and please keep her with us for years to come.
Tuesday, 12 August 2014
When you look in the MIRROR, what do you SEE?
This past weekend, I attended the Can-Fit-Pro fitness conference and tradeshow, which takes place every August in downtown Toronto. I can't accurately describe what this event does for my soul, but I thrive when I'm around thousands of other like-minded fitness professionals and for three straight days, I absorb everything around me. There is so much 'eye candy' at this convention, it's startling. My brain and body are physically challenged and I get so much pleasure out of networking and learning brand new concepts in the industry. For me, it's electrifying. In a nutshell, it's comparable to a summer camp for adults.
I met a ton of phenomenal people this year, and it was also exciting to run into people that I used to work with from the past. I attended some incredible sessions, some of which were master classes, others were informative lectures. All in all, I took everything I learned back home with me. The adrenaline that was coursing through my veins post-conference, was outstanding. Even some of my friends took notice of my super-charged energy and unwavering enthusiasm as I described my experiences.
That's what I want to be remembered for. I think it's important to leave your mark on the world--to have such a deep love for life and what you do, that it seeps out of your pores and people sit up and take notice. But, here's the kicker: It has to be genuine. NO COVER-UPS. NO FACADES. JUST THE NAKED TRUTH.
You know when I discovered that fitness was the right path for me? When I started to sleep well at night, and my stomach wasn't constantly hurting. When I attracted the right people into my life. When I listened to my inner voice that applauded me for my efforts without external validation. All good signs, right? I took all the negativity and threw it out the window. It was a heavy load, but I changed for the better.
I wonder if anyone else I met over the weekend was putting on a front and not being true to themselves..I bet there were multitudes of people carrying grief, angst, insecurity and negativity. And that made me a little sad. In a venue that promotes strength, well-being and gaining self-confidence, the masses still carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.
True story: I met a unique fellow this weekend who had a powerful impact on me. We hit it off instantly, like we'd known each other forever. It's rare that I meet someone who I connect with so immediately, so I wanted to get to know him and find out what makes him tick. Being fairly intuitive, I sensed that this person was being genuine and forthright in our conversations. But there was something about him that I couldn't put my finger on...
Without going into a long story, I received an e-mail from him the following day that confirmed my suspicion--he told me something in writing that he was ashamed to tell me in person. He thought that I'd be thrown off if I knew the truth when we were face-to-face. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
In fact, I admired him that much more for being vulnerable and brutally honest with me. I didn't care that he couldn't tell me his full story in person; it mattered that he cared enough about me and our new friendship to be honest via e-mail. Words can sometimes be spoken and forgotten, but the written word is forever. I like him even more now, because of his candor.
So, let me ask you, my readers: When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Are your eyes lit up with your truth, or are you covering up your reality with a bunch of lies?
Everyone you encounter has stories, some of which are easily shared, while others are carefully hidden. But the heavy past that we bury can sometimes hurt us, deeply and profoundly. We only trust certain people with our 'baggage' and are quite wary of our acquaintances discovering our secrets. We put on masks to cover-up our pain. We pretend like everything is status quo, when in reality, everything seems out of control. I know how that feels, first hand. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
It's easy to judge people for their wrongdoings and foibles. It's not easy to be forgiving and understanding. But, when you look in the mirror, you have to at least like what you see. You should be able to see yourself as a person of strength and integrity and allow yourself to make mistakes and have setbacks. Life is already too hard without beating yourself to a pulp for being imperfect. After all, who really cares? LET GO A LITTLE. Mistakes are necessary stepping stones to becoming a better you!
BE AUTHENTIC. People cannot connect with you if you're constantly trying to hide from yourself. And this becomes a truly toxic situation the minute they become attached to your false persona. So remember, no matter what age, race, sex, or sexuality you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being--each and every one of us are. We each have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in. But do not change who you are; BE who you are. Don’t deny yourself, improve yourself.
I met a ton of phenomenal people this year, and it was also exciting to run into people that I used to work with from the past. I attended some incredible sessions, some of which were master classes, others were informative lectures. All in all, I took everything I learned back home with me. The adrenaline that was coursing through my veins post-conference, was outstanding. Even some of my friends took notice of my super-charged energy and unwavering enthusiasm as I described my experiences.
That's what I want to be remembered for. I think it's important to leave your mark on the world--to have such a deep love for life and what you do, that it seeps out of your pores and people sit up and take notice. But, here's the kicker: It has to be genuine. NO COVER-UPS. NO FACADES. JUST THE NAKED TRUTH.
You know when I discovered that fitness was the right path for me? When I started to sleep well at night, and my stomach wasn't constantly hurting. When I attracted the right people into my life. When I listened to my inner voice that applauded me for my efforts without external validation. All good signs, right? I took all the negativity and threw it out the window. It was a heavy load, but I changed for the better.
I wonder if anyone else I met over the weekend was putting on a front and not being true to themselves..I bet there were multitudes of people carrying grief, angst, insecurity and negativity. And that made me a little sad. In a venue that promotes strength, well-being and gaining self-confidence, the masses still carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.
True story: I met a unique fellow this weekend who had a powerful impact on me. We hit it off instantly, like we'd known each other forever. It's rare that I meet someone who I connect with so immediately, so I wanted to get to know him and find out what makes him tick. Being fairly intuitive, I sensed that this person was being genuine and forthright in our conversations. But there was something about him that I couldn't put my finger on...
Without going into a long story, I received an e-mail from him the following day that confirmed my suspicion--he told me something in writing that he was ashamed to tell me in person. He thought that I'd be thrown off if I knew the truth when we were face-to-face. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
In fact, I admired him that much more for being vulnerable and brutally honest with me. I didn't care that he couldn't tell me his full story in person; it mattered that he cared enough about me and our new friendship to be honest via e-mail. Words can sometimes be spoken and forgotten, but the written word is forever. I like him even more now, because of his candor.
So, let me ask you, my readers: When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Are your eyes lit up with your truth, or are you covering up your reality with a bunch of lies?
Everyone you encounter has stories, some of which are easily shared, while others are carefully hidden. But the heavy past that we bury can sometimes hurt us, deeply and profoundly. We only trust certain people with our 'baggage' and are quite wary of our acquaintances discovering our secrets. We put on masks to cover-up our pain. We pretend like everything is status quo, when in reality, everything seems out of control. I know how that feels, first hand. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
It's easy to judge people for their wrongdoings and foibles. It's not easy to be forgiving and understanding. But, when you look in the mirror, you have to at least like what you see. You should be able to see yourself as a person of strength and integrity and allow yourself to make mistakes and have setbacks. Life is already too hard without beating yourself to a pulp for being imperfect. After all, who really cares? LET GO A LITTLE. Mistakes are necessary stepping stones to becoming a better you!
BE AUTHENTIC. People cannot connect with you if you're constantly trying to hide from yourself. And this becomes a truly toxic situation the minute they become attached to your false persona. So remember, no matter what age, race, sex, or sexuality you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being--each and every one of us are. We each have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in. But do not change who you are; BE who you are. Don’t deny yourself, improve yourself.
Monday, 14 July 2014
'BITE THE BULLET'
The month of June was a tough one for me, folks. Usually when summer begins, I am filled with such zest and vitality. It's the kind of energy which I'm thankful to say, comes from an overall healthy lifestyle and a regular exercise regime. My job allows me a life of purpose and passion. People rely on me for creativity, motivation and inspiration. And I'm more than happy to administer my abundant enthusiasm for good living. But honestly, there are days when I need a 'booster shot' from others, and it isn't always readily available.
Without going into any detail, I had an incident in the workplace a few weeks ago, which I had to lodge a complaint for. It was something that caused me a great deal of anguish, because I had to talk to the 'higher-ups' and report unusual behaviour from a man I've known for decades. He's not my friend--he's merely an acquaintance. Even so, it was something that I needed to do to ensure that it would never again happen. And because I spoke up, it worked.
When faced with a stressful situation, most people cower, hide and harbor painful emotions. Anger and fear ensue. Not me! After going through a decade of anger and fear, I've had more than my fill. I want a life of tranquility. And I realized in time, that it's an inside job.
Not a lot of people know this, but I have a temper that tends to match my hair color--BLAZING RED. If left unattended, it can scorch anyone in its path. I no longer wish to injure, harm or make judgements. I want to inject passion and happiness into people's veins. I'm the type of person who needs to keep her anger 'in-check', regularly and often. I used to burn bridges and now, I just want to construct them.
Sometimes, life throws us curveballs and we have to react. Most folks are emotional creatures, and wear their hearts on their sleeves. I am one of those people. I used to put on such a cool front, so the outside world couldn't see my anguish and desperation. I had a hard time liking myself for the longest time. And after many years of experimentation and making lots of mistakes, I finally found my flow.
Life is not easy. It is hard. It is the toughest road you will ever travel. And no one gets out alive. Remember that YOUR happiness is never dependant on something else or someone else. You have to genuinely LOVE who you are, or no one else will. For ten years, I hated myself. I didn't like what I was doing, how I was speaking, who I was attracting, where I was going. And I couldn't figure out why I was losing friends, losing motivation and losing my mind.
But guess what? I changed. People CAN change. Not everyone, mind you, but most. I wanted to change, as challenging as it was for me. I had a deep desire for a different perspective and a fresh outlook. I needed to come to grips with the fact that the road of life would sometimes be paved with difficulty and strife. And we all have to roll with the punches and occasionally 'bite the bullet'. Through thick and thin, good and bad, pretty and ugly....
If there's something troubling you right now as you read my words, let me ask you this: Why are you holding onto it? Is there a resolution that can be reached? Can you speak your mind and open up to a good friend or family member about it? And if not, WHY NOT?
Fear is a killer. It will mess you up, every single time if you let it. If you change your thinking and allow fear to trickle through your system anyway, you will make it clear to the other side. YOU WILL. You must believe in your ability to persevere and shine through.
To cap off, I wanted to share this expression that I've heard and even uttered many times in my life. It's quick, accurate and a little blunt, so, pardon me:
SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, AS PAINFUL AND UNCOMFORTABLE AS IT MAY BE, TO BE THE HAPPIEST, HEALTHIEST, MOST ABUNDANT AND SELF-ASSURED PERSON YOU KNOW.
DO IT.
Without going into any detail, I had an incident in the workplace a few weeks ago, which I had to lodge a complaint for. It was something that caused me a great deal of anguish, because I had to talk to the 'higher-ups' and report unusual behaviour from a man I've known for decades. He's not my friend--he's merely an acquaintance. Even so, it was something that I needed to do to ensure that it would never again happen. And because I spoke up, it worked.
When faced with a stressful situation, most people cower, hide and harbor painful emotions. Anger and fear ensue. Not me! After going through a decade of anger and fear, I've had more than my fill. I want a life of tranquility. And I realized in time, that it's an inside job.
Not a lot of people know this, but I have a temper that tends to match my hair color--BLAZING RED. If left unattended, it can scorch anyone in its path. I no longer wish to injure, harm or make judgements. I want to inject passion and happiness into people's veins. I'm the type of person who needs to keep her anger 'in-check', regularly and often. I used to burn bridges and now, I just want to construct them.
Sometimes, life throws us curveballs and we have to react. Most folks are emotional creatures, and wear their hearts on their sleeves. I am one of those people. I used to put on such a cool front, so the outside world couldn't see my anguish and desperation. I had a hard time liking myself for the longest time. And after many years of experimentation and making lots of mistakes, I finally found my flow.
Life is not easy. It is hard. It is the toughest road you will ever travel. And no one gets out alive. Remember that YOUR happiness is never dependant on something else or someone else. You have to genuinely LOVE who you are, or no one else will. For ten years, I hated myself. I didn't like what I was doing, how I was speaking, who I was attracting, where I was going. And I couldn't figure out why I was losing friends, losing motivation and losing my mind.
But guess what? I changed. People CAN change. Not everyone, mind you, but most. I wanted to change, as challenging as it was for me. I had a deep desire for a different perspective and a fresh outlook. I needed to come to grips with the fact that the road of life would sometimes be paved with difficulty and strife. And we all have to roll with the punches and occasionally 'bite the bullet'. Through thick and thin, good and bad, pretty and ugly....
If there's something troubling you right now as you read my words, let me ask you this: Why are you holding onto it? Is there a resolution that can be reached? Can you speak your mind and open up to a good friend or family member about it? And if not, WHY NOT?
Fear is a killer. It will mess you up, every single time if you let it. If you change your thinking and allow fear to trickle through your system anyway, you will make it clear to the other side. YOU WILL. You must believe in your ability to persevere and shine through.
To cap off, I wanted to share this expression that I've heard and even uttered many times in my life. It's quick, accurate and a little blunt, so, pardon me:
SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, AS PAINFUL AND UNCOMFORTABLE AS IT MAY BE, TO BE THE HAPPIEST, HEALTHIEST, MOST ABUNDANT AND SELF-ASSURED PERSON YOU KNOW.
DO IT.
Friday, 2 May 2014
You'd better check yourself, before you wreck yourself...
I know what depression feels like. I've been there. I've known ten years of ups, downs and the proverbial 'see-saw' effect. Let me tell you, if anyone knows what sadness, gloom and despair looks and feels like, I DO.
What I find perplexing is that ten years ago, I dealt with my stress and anxiety in a totally different manner than I do today. I used to be afraid of my own shadow. I would avoid public places because I was afraid of being seen. I used to be overweight, and for someone who worked avidly in the fitness industry, to me, that was a major no-no. And why did I view myself so negatively, you might ask? Because I was obsessed with an image. I thought I had to look, act and behave a certain way to garner attention and admiration from others. Boy, was I wrong. If I knew in my 30's what I know today, my life would have taken on a totally different meaning. I've gone through my own version of hell and back, and I can honestly say, that if anyone reading this is experiencing any undue heartache, regret, pain or anguish for any reason, there is a way out. You have to constantly tweak your lifestyle, backwards and forwards, to find your true path. And believe me, it's the toughest road you'll ever travel.
To be frank, I've had my vices. When I was in the thick of my sadness, I used to sleep all day to avoid confrontation. I wasted a lot of time. I can only recall that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, nearly every morning, that constantly screamed, 'Stop this lunacy, Stephanie!"
My dreams are very vivid and frightening. I still have visions of myself, at my worst, out of control, without purpose. And every morning, I shrug it off--because I know I'm past all that garbage and mayhem. I'm rather proud of myself and my accomplishments, because I'm aware that I've really come a long way.
Before I settled down with the man of my dreams, I used to live on my own in a condo and frankly, I hated it. The first few years were liberating, because I relished in the idea of having my own place, but the last few years were excruciating. I really believe that a higher power had a plan designed especially for me, because he saw that I was getting really close to 'the edge'. I know it sounds a little crazy...but someone or something was watching over me.
You know what I did one morning in the midst of my despair? I stared deeply into my eyes in the mirror for a few minutes, without looking away. It was something I had never done, before. I was transfixed. What I eventually saw was a vision of myself as an older woman. It scared the crap out of me. I looked ragged, withdrawn, gaunt, withered. It was then and there that I realized my ultimate goal. I knew I had to press forward, despite my agony and hardship. I had to get out of this vortex.
And so I did. Every day, I woke up with a new-found purpose. I'd go on my laptop and begin writing daily words of wisdom on Facebook. I began to eat healthfully and drink more water than usual. I practiced yoga and stretched. I began to come out of my shell and interact with others. I went for weekly counselling. I opened my mouth and expressed my feelings; something I was afraid to do for so many decades. And you know something? With trial and error, IT WORKED.
Do a scan, right now. Are you full of fear, regret, anguish or trepidation? Do you want to change? Do you feel a tightness in your core, begging you to make a move? Guess what? That's your body and mind trying to harmonize and get on the same page. Honor that. Listen to what your gut says.
You'd better check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Speaking from experience, I know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO SINK TO DEPTHS YOU CANNOT SWIM OUT OF. Save yourself. Talk. Open up.
You'll be glad you did. Believe me. You may not be able to see the forest through the trees yet, but eventually, your horizon will be clear, magnificent and full of blazing sunlight.
Now, off you go....
What I find perplexing is that ten years ago, I dealt with my stress and anxiety in a totally different manner than I do today. I used to be afraid of my own shadow. I would avoid public places because I was afraid of being seen. I used to be overweight, and for someone who worked avidly in the fitness industry, to me, that was a major no-no. And why did I view myself so negatively, you might ask? Because I was obsessed with an image. I thought I had to look, act and behave a certain way to garner attention and admiration from others. Boy, was I wrong. If I knew in my 30's what I know today, my life would have taken on a totally different meaning. I've gone through my own version of hell and back, and I can honestly say, that if anyone reading this is experiencing any undue heartache, regret, pain or anguish for any reason, there is a way out. You have to constantly tweak your lifestyle, backwards and forwards, to find your true path. And believe me, it's the toughest road you'll ever travel.
To be frank, I've had my vices. When I was in the thick of my sadness, I used to sleep all day to avoid confrontation. I wasted a lot of time. I can only recall that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, nearly every morning, that constantly screamed, 'Stop this lunacy, Stephanie!"
My dreams are very vivid and frightening. I still have visions of myself, at my worst, out of control, without purpose. And every morning, I shrug it off--because I know I'm past all that garbage and mayhem. I'm rather proud of myself and my accomplishments, because I'm aware that I've really come a long way.
Before I settled down with the man of my dreams, I used to live on my own in a condo and frankly, I hated it. The first few years were liberating, because I relished in the idea of having my own place, but the last few years were excruciating. I really believe that a higher power had a plan designed especially for me, because he saw that I was getting really close to 'the edge'. I know it sounds a little crazy...but someone or something was watching over me.
You know what I did one morning in the midst of my despair? I stared deeply into my eyes in the mirror for a few minutes, without looking away. It was something I had never done, before. I was transfixed. What I eventually saw was a vision of myself as an older woman. It scared the crap out of me. I looked ragged, withdrawn, gaunt, withered. It was then and there that I realized my ultimate goal. I knew I had to press forward, despite my agony and hardship. I had to get out of this vortex.
And so I did. Every day, I woke up with a new-found purpose. I'd go on my laptop and begin writing daily words of wisdom on Facebook. I began to eat healthfully and drink more water than usual. I practiced yoga and stretched. I began to come out of my shell and interact with others. I went for weekly counselling. I opened my mouth and expressed my feelings; something I was afraid to do for so many decades. And you know something? With trial and error, IT WORKED.
Do a scan, right now. Are you full of fear, regret, anguish or trepidation? Do you want to change? Do you feel a tightness in your core, begging you to make a move? Guess what? That's your body and mind trying to harmonize and get on the same page. Honor that. Listen to what your gut says.
You'd better check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Speaking from experience, I know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO SINK TO DEPTHS YOU CANNOT SWIM OUT OF. Save yourself. Talk. Open up.
You'll be glad you did. Believe me. You may not be able to see the forest through the trees yet, but eventually, your horizon will be clear, magnificent and full of blazing sunlight.
Now, off you go....
Wednesday, 9 April 2014
Nature VS. Nintendo...WHO WINS?
The year was 1978. I was 6 years old, and my father came home after work one day and gave me a toy that I literally rode into the ground. It was a 'Big Wheel'. I put sparkly stickers all over it, so I could always decipher which one was mine. Everyone I knew had one. It was the highlight of my youth, to ride that bike every single day.
Today I see 6 year old kids with tablets, 'Game Boys', iPods and other fancy gizmos. It really isn't that shocking to me anymore. I scoffed when I recently saw a toddler at the mall, in his stroller, holding a tablet in his lap and staring at it, hypnotically. Technology has definitely changed the course of history and the generations to come will most certainly acquire more toys and gadgets. As a consequence, they will also have difficulties making adjustments in the REAL world.
Lately, every teenager I see has a cell phone, and all these kids do is compete with each other. Popularity contests are still won by wearing the latest fashions and vying for attention from members of the opposite sex. Life is way too short for that shallow bullshit. Too much time is spent worrying about stuff that won't matter to these kids in a year from now.
I read an amazing article in the 'Globe and Mail' newspaper last week entitled, "Nature VS. Nintendo". It blew my mind. In short, it mentioned how today's generation is intensely addicted to the Internet, because it's the easiest way to communicate with their peers. What's even more upsetting, is that they're spending less and less time outdoors and they're not getting enough regular exercise. Obesity rates are escalating at an alarming rate.
In 1982, when I was 10, all I did was play outside. I had a bunch of friends at the time, who loved building forts in the winter, playing 'hide and seek', spending hours in the park. I would come home dirty and stinking and I felt so happy, because I knew I'd have the chance to do it all over again, the following day.
I wonder if the majority of today's 10 year-old kids have that kind of motivation and willingness to go outside and play, not because they HAVE to, but because they truly WANT to. My guess is, not a huge percentage would opt for being outdoors, in nature. They'd rather run to their game consoles, sit on their asses and munch on chips.
As a fitness professional, I hate hearing/seeing parents enable their children as they gaze mindlessly at a television screen or play video games for hours on end. What a great way to dull the mind! Honestly, when I see a young person who is overweight, I just want to weep. I wonder if they have good influences at home. Life is hard enough as it is, and technology seems to be making a lot of things easier. But today's kids are stressed, deeply sad, and some are even committing suicide because of peer pressure and bullying. Guess what? Technology is partly to blame for the chaos and destruction of today's generation. It's getting WORSE.
I'm not a parent, so I really don't have the frame of reference that some of you reading this, do. I simply wish for parents to be a better influence for their children. Sure, rules are meant to be broken, and mistakes will most assuredly be made. But, it's our job to inspire our youth, and encourage them to accept challenges, and take on new tasks, and engage themselves in anything that will stimulate their minds in a positive way, so we can steer them away from their televisions, game consoles and computer screens.
Generally speaking, most kids today are unhealthy. They eat so poorly. They get minimal exercise. They look for what's convenient and easy. And you know something? It's such a shame, because it's these kids who will inevitably shape and mould our future generations. I kid you not, the future looks bleak...
If you are a parent and you're reading this, and your kids use technology more than YOU do, it's time to redirect them into the great outdoors. Now that spring is looming, make sure your kids have balance in their lives. Get them to open their eyes to possibilities they likely can't see themselves. Encourage them to broaden their horizons. Influence them to jump into the unknown. Believe me, the Internet will always be there. It's only going to get bigger.
So, WHO WINS? Nature or Nintendo?
Today I see 6 year old kids with tablets, 'Game Boys', iPods and other fancy gizmos. It really isn't that shocking to me anymore. I scoffed when I recently saw a toddler at the mall, in his stroller, holding a tablet in his lap and staring at it, hypnotically. Technology has definitely changed the course of history and the generations to come will most certainly acquire more toys and gadgets. As a consequence, they will also have difficulties making adjustments in the REAL world.
Lately, every teenager I see has a cell phone, and all these kids do is compete with each other. Popularity contests are still won by wearing the latest fashions and vying for attention from members of the opposite sex. Life is way too short for that shallow bullshit. Too much time is spent worrying about stuff that won't matter to these kids in a year from now.
I read an amazing article in the 'Globe and Mail' newspaper last week entitled, "Nature VS. Nintendo". It blew my mind. In short, it mentioned how today's generation is intensely addicted to the Internet, because it's the easiest way to communicate with their peers. What's even more upsetting, is that they're spending less and less time outdoors and they're not getting enough regular exercise. Obesity rates are escalating at an alarming rate.
In 1982, when I was 10, all I did was play outside. I had a bunch of friends at the time, who loved building forts in the winter, playing 'hide and seek', spending hours in the park. I would come home dirty and stinking and I felt so happy, because I knew I'd have the chance to do it all over again, the following day.
I wonder if the majority of today's 10 year-old kids have that kind of motivation and willingness to go outside and play, not because they HAVE to, but because they truly WANT to. My guess is, not a huge percentage would opt for being outdoors, in nature. They'd rather run to their game consoles, sit on their asses and munch on chips.
As a fitness professional, I hate hearing/seeing parents enable their children as they gaze mindlessly at a television screen or play video games for hours on end. What a great way to dull the mind! Honestly, when I see a young person who is overweight, I just want to weep. I wonder if they have good influences at home. Life is hard enough as it is, and technology seems to be making a lot of things easier. But today's kids are stressed, deeply sad, and some are even committing suicide because of peer pressure and bullying. Guess what? Technology is partly to blame for the chaos and destruction of today's generation. It's getting WORSE.
I'm not a parent, so I really don't have the frame of reference that some of you reading this, do. I simply wish for parents to be a better influence for their children. Sure, rules are meant to be broken, and mistakes will most assuredly be made. But, it's our job to inspire our youth, and encourage them to accept challenges, and take on new tasks, and engage themselves in anything that will stimulate their minds in a positive way, so we can steer them away from their televisions, game consoles and computer screens.
Generally speaking, most kids today are unhealthy. They eat so poorly. They get minimal exercise. They look for what's convenient and easy. And you know something? It's such a shame, because it's these kids who will inevitably shape and mould our future generations. I kid you not, the future looks bleak...
If you are a parent and you're reading this, and your kids use technology more than YOU do, it's time to redirect them into the great outdoors. Now that spring is looming, make sure your kids have balance in their lives. Get them to open their eyes to possibilities they likely can't see themselves. Encourage them to broaden their horizons. Influence them to jump into the unknown. Believe me, the Internet will always be there. It's only going to get bigger.
So, WHO WINS? Nature or Nintendo?
Friday, 21 March 2014
Gripes? I have a few...
On Facebook, I'm usually the gal that posts daily, inspiring updates for my readers. Today, I need to vent. I need to write about some of the things that I've been annoyed with. I need to clear the air.
So for this particular blog post, I'm going to tell it like it is. I'm likely going to push a few buttons, or perhaps offend a few people, but my sole intention is to express how I feel. These are my personal opinions. Take them with a grain of salt. Remember that everyone has gripes and frustrations and has the freedom to express themselves. Hopefully, with a little tact.
These are some of mine:
1. I've been in the fitness industry for a long time and I have seen my fair share of nonsense. But lately, I've been speaking to a lot of women, primarily, who are having major issues and concerns with 'the number on the scale.' I cannot begin to tell you how much this topic irks me. It's clear that certain people's self-esteem rides solely on the numbers they see, and I would wager that the rest of their day is shot, afterwards. Pity.
I have never owned a scale because I absolutely abhor the idea of them. Some people I know are utterly obsessive about having one in their home. My mother taught me a very good lesson when I was a teenager going through my body image issues. She always told me to gauge my weight by how well my clothes fit. If my jeans became too uncomfortable to wear, for example, I'd know that I needed to do something different to garner a different result. Less sweets, more movement.
Seriously, the only time one should be weighed, is during their yearly physical. Having a scale in your home is hazardous. It's a mood killer, it destroys self-worth and it certainly isn't an accurate depiction of progress or optimal health. Scales for home-use need to be put to death.
2. It bothers me a great deal when I go grocery shopping and observe the kind of drivel people fill their carts with. I shudder when I only see pre-packaged foods with hardly any produce. I would assume that most of these folks are educated but truly don't give a shit about what they put into their bodies. If moods and foods are linked, frankly our society is a bloody mess. It's no wonder that most people are easily irritated, have regular joint and/or muscle pain and are extremely lethargic and unhappy.
I have trained myself to read food labels and keep current with all things related to good nutrition, but I honestly love my junk food: chips, chocolate and cookies. I have a lifestyle that honors indulgence. I hate hearing some of the ways people punish themselves with food/exercise and the lengths they go to for a desired look. It's troubling, to say the least. This topic about sustenance highlights my first point about scales and weight management, but to a deeper degree. We really need to smarten up as a society, because we're failing miserably. But, we can learn from our mistakes and make lasting changes. I always say if you want it bad enough, it can be yours. Self-education is key. Don't ever stop learning. Stay abreast of recent studies and information relating to health and well-being. You'll live a hell of a lot longer, if you do.
3. When I was in high school and cliques were rampant, I never joined one. I hated how everyone spoke, with a 'jappy' twang and a 'holier-than-thou' attitude. Everyone dressed alike and I immediately got turned off. I wanted to be a unique individual without having to conform to that bullshit. Today, everyone from that era still talks the same, dresses the same and complains about the same things. Whatever happened to originality and being respected for being a little unusual?
It makes me sick when I hear asinine gossip, especially coming out of the mouths of 'mature' adults. I wish some people could hear recordings of themselves. They sound like sheep. There will always be back-stabbers, I'm sure, but there's such a thing as decorum, which seems to be a missing gene in most adults. I wish people were more real and not afraid to be vulnerable. I respond better to people who show me their weaknesses.
4. Because I've been through my own personal hell, I can speak from experience on this particular point. Holding on to bad relationships of any kind, is similar to being in a torture chamber. Why would anyone inflict that kind of hardship and anguish on themselves? Because we're a hopeful lot. We believe in the greater good of humanity. We so desperately cling to the idea that people will change just for us. It's a lie! I have been through many friends in my life, fallen in love a couple of times and had ten years of self-esteem issues and I can honestly say, that if something or someone gives you grief in any form, you must be strong enough to walk away. I can't begin to comprehend what kind of torment I put my organs through, during my most difficult years. If I can spare anyone reading this of a similar situation, I plead with you, save yourself from years of grief. Your health is #1. It's not selfish at all, to think of yourself in this case. It's absolutely VITAL.
5. What good is complaining, REALLY? I think most people just want to be heard and have others side with them. I always insist that if you complain about something, but don't do anything to change it, then you should keep your trap shut. Better to stew in your own filth than to get everyone else dirty with your ridiculous rhetoric. I work in an industry that is chock-full of people offering up commentary and constructive (so they claim) criticism. My question is: Why don't more people have built-in filters, so that when they intend to spew hostile words at someone, the filter acts as a plug and prevents them from uttering sounds? Wouldn't that be glorious? Since we live in a cruel, harsh world, it can't really be avoided. But you can smile, walk away and wish them a pleasant day. Some folks need all the help they can get.
I think that's it for my spewing, today.
Again, I'm sorry if the aforementioned list has caused any upset. I'm still hoping you enjoyed my posting today, despite my bickering. I bid you all a good weekend, and may I officially welcome you to your first official day of spring. I bet you can't wait for it to finally get here.
ME TOO!
All the best.
So for this particular blog post, I'm going to tell it like it is. I'm likely going to push a few buttons, or perhaps offend a few people, but my sole intention is to express how I feel. These are my personal opinions. Take them with a grain of salt. Remember that everyone has gripes and frustrations and has the freedom to express themselves. Hopefully, with a little tact.
These are some of mine:
1. I've been in the fitness industry for a long time and I have seen my fair share of nonsense. But lately, I've been speaking to a lot of women, primarily, who are having major issues and concerns with 'the number on the scale.' I cannot begin to tell you how much this topic irks me. It's clear that certain people's self-esteem rides solely on the numbers they see, and I would wager that the rest of their day is shot, afterwards. Pity.
I have never owned a scale because I absolutely abhor the idea of them. Some people I know are utterly obsessive about having one in their home. My mother taught me a very good lesson when I was a teenager going through my body image issues. She always told me to gauge my weight by how well my clothes fit. If my jeans became too uncomfortable to wear, for example, I'd know that I needed to do something different to garner a different result. Less sweets, more movement.
Seriously, the only time one should be weighed, is during their yearly physical. Having a scale in your home is hazardous. It's a mood killer, it destroys self-worth and it certainly isn't an accurate depiction of progress or optimal health. Scales for home-use need to be put to death.
2. It bothers me a great deal when I go grocery shopping and observe the kind of drivel people fill their carts with. I shudder when I only see pre-packaged foods with hardly any produce. I would assume that most of these folks are educated but truly don't give a shit about what they put into their bodies. If moods and foods are linked, frankly our society is a bloody mess. It's no wonder that most people are easily irritated, have regular joint and/or muscle pain and are extremely lethargic and unhappy.
I have trained myself to read food labels and keep current with all things related to good nutrition, but I honestly love my junk food: chips, chocolate and cookies. I have a lifestyle that honors indulgence. I hate hearing some of the ways people punish themselves with food/exercise and the lengths they go to for a desired look. It's troubling, to say the least. This topic about sustenance highlights my first point about scales and weight management, but to a deeper degree. We really need to smarten up as a society, because we're failing miserably. But, we can learn from our mistakes and make lasting changes. I always say if you want it bad enough, it can be yours. Self-education is key. Don't ever stop learning. Stay abreast of recent studies and information relating to health and well-being. You'll live a hell of a lot longer, if you do.
3. When I was in high school and cliques were rampant, I never joined one. I hated how everyone spoke, with a 'jappy' twang and a 'holier-than-thou' attitude. Everyone dressed alike and I immediately got turned off. I wanted to be a unique individual without having to conform to that bullshit. Today, everyone from that era still talks the same, dresses the same and complains about the same things. Whatever happened to originality and being respected for being a little unusual?
It makes me sick when I hear asinine gossip, especially coming out of the mouths of 'mature' adults. I wish some people could hear recordings of themselves. They sound like sheep. There will always be back-stabbers, I'm sure, but there's such a thing as decorum, which seems to be a missing gene in most adults. I wish people were more real and not afraid to be vulnerable. I respond better to people who show me their weaknesses.
4. Because I've been through my own personal hell, I can speak from experience on this particular point. Holding on to bad relationships of any kind, is similar to being in a torture chamber. Why would anyone inflict that kind of hardship and anguish on themselves? Because we're a hopeful lot. We believe in the greater good of humanity. We so desperately cling to the idea that people will change just for us. It's a lie! I have been through many friends in my life, fallen in love a couple of times and had ten years of self-esteem issues and I can honestly say, that if something or someone gives you grief in any form, you must be strong enough to walk away. I can't begin to comprehend what kind of torment I put my organs through, during my most difficult years. If I can spare anyone reading this of a similar situation, I plead with you, save yourself from years of grief. Your health is #1. It's not selfish at all, to think of yourself in this case. It's absolutely VITAL.
5. What good is complaining, REALLY? I think most people just want to be heard and have others side with them. I always insist that if you complain about something, but don't do anything to change it, then you should keep your trap shut. Better to stew in your own filth than to get everyone else dirty with your ridiculous rhetoric. I work in an industry that is chock-full of people offering up commentary and constructive (so they claim) criticism. My question is: Why don't more people have built-in filters, so that when they intend to spew hostile words at someone, the filter acts as a plug and prevents them from uttering sounds? Wouldn't that be glorious? Since we live in a cruel, harsh world, it can't really be avoided. But you can smile, walk away and wish them a pleasant day. Some folks need all the help they can get.
I think that's it for my spewing, today.
Again, I'm sorry if the aforementioned list has caused any upset. I'm still hoping you enjoyed my posting today, despite my bickering. I bid you all a good weekend, and may I officially welcome you to your first official day of spring. I bet you can't wait for it to finally get here.
ME TOO!
All the best.
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