I don't remember every detail of my cousin Lisa's wedding on Halloween night in 1999, but I do have a few wonderful snippets to draw from. I can recall my grandparents, the Mezeis, who were thriving and so happy that night. My cousin David's speech to his new bride was so moving and genuine, it brought tears to my eyes. Here's the one line that tugged at my heartstrings: "When I saw Lisa for the very first time, I knew she would be a 'Swimmer'." It was at that very moment, that envy filled my soul. Firstly, because Lisa found a guy that she met in university, who was so special and adored her so much, it was incredible. And secondly, because I desperately wanted that kind of love for myself. And I was certain back then, that I would have tremendous difficulty finding a man that would even come close to David's caliber.
David Swimmer was a dear fellow who had a smile you couldn't resist. When he would flash his bright eyes in your direction, you couldn't help but feel a true connection to him. Quite frankly, his heart was made of platinum--he loved his friends and his family so much, it was tangible. And if you spoke to him, his attention would be only on you, focused and alert. His personality was warm, and he never judged you. I liked his demeanour--he was always a gentleman.
David and Lisa have two beautiful boys named Noah and Dylan, ages 7 and 3, respectively. Noah has a smile just like his Dad and little Dylan looks a lot like Lisa. They are so precious and sweet. I find it hard to imagine that these boys won't have their father in their lives as they grow up. But, I feel very strongly that Lisa is going be the kind of mother that most women will want to emulate.
On September 16th of this year, David would have been 39 years old. It weighs heavily on my heart that just shy of his 40th year, he left us all. Two and half years ago, when it was revealed that David had cancer, it was a major shock to our whole family that such a divine human being could be struck with this kind of bad luck. Lisa was certainly tested through the entire ordeal, as she and David had many ups and downs during their many hospital visits. She had no choice but to have an 'iron will', and draw strength from her family and close friends. But, she stuck like glue to David's side, never wavering, never 'throwing in the towel'.
At David's funeral a few days ago, I started to shake uncontrollably. It was a sensation that I had never felt before. At that moment, I had only one thought--the words that David uttered to Lisa at their wedding. The envy that I felt so strongly in 1999 was replaced with such sorrow and regret in 2013. I desperately wanted more time to get to know David on a deeper level.
When I got married in September of 2011, David wasn't well enough to make an appearance, and that always made me very sad. My aunt Susan once said that my husband Jason reminded her of David--that Jason was a sweet, devoted man who loved me so much, it was obvious to everyone. Her observation made my heart soar. It was my ultimate wish to find a man who would love me and accept my idiosyncrasies--and I found him.
Life is so cruel, sometimes. I always question the universe when bad things happen to the best people. I really want to know the lesson that we're supposed to learn in David's passing. I desperately want to know why G-d decided it was David who would be plagued with cancer at such a young, vital age. Perhaps those reasons will show themselves, in time. But, it doesn't take away the hurt and anguish that my sweet Lisa and the rest of the Young/Swimmer family, will have to endure.
Dearest David Laurie: I love you, my sweet cousin. I'm so very sorry that this happened to you. Your entire circle of friends, your doting family, your precious wife and children will miss you terribly. Your smile will forever be etched in our minds, may your body and soul be free from pain. May G-d protect you and keep you safe. You are a beautiful boy and I will never forget you.
