There's a fellow in my world that has the insight of a prophet, and whenever we chat together, I realize how fortunate I truly am, to be related to him by blood.
My father, Peter, is totally in tune with the universe. He's the kind of man you want to have in your corner. He has so much to impart, and everything he says is, in my humble opinion, ACES.
A few months ago, after having breakfast at our favorite bagel spot, he gave me an analogy to think about, and since then, it stuck in my brain. The concept is difficult to master. But, it can be done.
Grab a plunger. Clear out the shit.
It's simple, really: no matter what you're presented with, grab a plunger and suck out the obstruction. Empty the pipes, so to speak.
It's so true. Why do we put up with so much shit? Are we masochists?
Every time your body gives you cues or signals, that's your intuition talking to you. Your body will never lie to you. Pay deeper attention to it, every single day, without fail. Don't ever stop listening to the pulse of your own vessel.
When you're finally on the right path, you will KNOW it.
You have to be ready and willing to eliminate the crap that no longer serves you. You can't hold off any longer. Don't let it fester any more than it already has.
The clearer the path, the lighter you'll feel. GUARANTEED.
So, go ahead: be with the people who make you laugh and make you forget about your troubles, if only for a little while. And do things that move you. Make it easier for yourself.
JUST KEEP PLUNGING AWAY.
Saturday 8 August 2015
Saturday 28 February 2015
Be your own advocate...
I've always believed, that there's nothing like starting the day on the right foot. I'm truly lucky to have the wonderful Jeffrey R. Smith in my world, because every couple of weeks, we get together and bounce ideas and stories off each other. There's always a ton of knowledge and wisdom thrown around. With both of us born under the sign of the bull (Taurus), it has its perks. I'm privy to hearing his logical perspective on many universal topics. His words are enlightening, his viewpoints are refreshing and at his core, he's very earthy, reliable and loyal. Good combination.
Which brings me to the topic of this post...and thanks for idea, Jeffrey.
When we're young, we are all trying to find our way in the world. We try things, we mess up, we learn (hopefully), we experience 'growing pains'. But, when we're established, mature (hopefully) and well on our way, who is responsible for our daily routines? Who is the one to propel us to greatness? Who decides whether we are sick, healthy, lazy, motivated? We are.
I used to be really skilled at the blame game. I rarely took responsibility for my actions. In my 20's, I was frivolous, careless, and had a 'devil may care' attitude towards life. I was promiscuous, lost, depressed and I kept hitting walls. I didn't know how to steer myself away from pain. I ended up stuck. I hated it, immensely.
When I became my own advocate, things began to transform. Slowly. Inch by inch, I gained more insight, more power and a deeper sense of hope. It all began when I started to live on my own. I would come home every day to my condo in the sky and then, it would get really quiet. I truly relished in my 'alone time' and knew that this was a big test put in front of me, to see if I could fly on my own. But I still screwed up. A lot.
After a seven year run of being 'solo' in my one bedroom abode, I started to get really sick of it. I became fearful of being alone. From 2003 to 2010, I had an opportunity to shape my life, in any way I wished. It was frightening, exciting and maddening, all at once. I remember waking up sometimes as early as 3am, writing fervently in my journal, dancing to house music that blared from my headphones, sweating away my sorrows, releasing my anguish. But it didn't really get rid of my pain. I was just covering it up. I did anything to numb my feelings.
When I moved out of my condo, I met Jason, and bought a house, and became a wife, and started pooling my resources with him. And miraculously, everything fell into place. I became my own advocate for truth, responsible behaviour, true love. And for the first time, I felt liberated and my body started humming in a way I hadn't felt before. I was finally on the right path. It took me almost 40 years, my friends, but I found my true calling. And all the pain I felt for decades beforehand, was worth it.
In life, you are always going to be your own boss. No one in this world will hit you harder than life will. Life will knock you down, perhaps a multitude of times, before you learn some hard-core, valuable lessons. You will feel agonizing anguish. You will scar. But, you will rise from all your troubles and become unstoppable, IF you take yourself seriously, IF you lead yourself into the light, IF you believe it's possible. You must push. You must not give in.
Because there will be days when you throw your hands in the air and say, F**K it all! There will be moments when all your hope is gone and you need something or someone to dig you out of your self-imposed vortex. Do not let that happen for too long, amigos.
BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, without anyone's aid. Only you know what you truly need to shine bright, sing loud, and live large.
It isn't easy, but it isn't hard, either. Through trial and error, you will be ok. Through perseverance, patience and a willingness to change, through good, bad, ugly, pretty and everything in-between, you will be successful.
I speak from experience. Believe my words. Believe in yourself, honestly, completely, fully. Life will not disappoint you if you are genuinely living YOUR TRUTH.
Which brings me to the topic of this post...and thanks for idea, Jeffrey.
When we're young, we are all trying to find our way in the world. We try things, we mess up, we learn (hopefully), we experience 'growing pains'. But, when we're established, mature (hopefully) and well on our way, who is responsible for our daily routines? Who is the one to propel us to greatness? Who decides whether we are sick, healthy, lazy, motivated? We are.
I used to be really skilled at the blame game. I rarely took responsibility for my actions. In my 20's, I was frivolous, careless, and had a 'devil may care' attitude towards life. I was promiscuous, lost, depressed and I kept hitting walls. I didn't know how to steer myself away from pain. I ended up stuck. I hated it, immensely.
When I became my own advocate, things began to transform. Slowly. Inch by inch, I gained more insight, more power and a deeper sense of hope. It all began when I started to live on my own. I would come home every day to my condo in the sky and then, it would get really quiet. I truly relished in my 'alone time' and knew that this was a big test put in front of me, to see if I could fly on my own. But I still screwed up. A lot.
After a seven year run of being 'solo' in my one bedroom abode, I started to get really sick of it. I became fearful of being alone. From 2003 to 2010, I had an opportunity to shape my life, in any way I wished. It was frightening, exciting and maddening, all at once. I remember waking up sometimes as early as 3am, writing fervently in my journal, dancing to house music that blared from my headphones, sweating away my sorrows, releasing my anguish. But it didn't really get rid of my pain. I was just covering it up. I did anything to numb my feelings.
When I moved out of my condo, I met Jason, and bought a house, and became a wife, and started pooling my resources with him. And miraculously, everything fell into place. I became my own advocate for truth, responsible behaviour, true love. And for the first time, I felt liberated and my body started humming in a way I hadn't felt before. I was finally on the right path. It took me almost 40 years, my friends, but I found my true calling. And all the pain I felt for decades beforehand, was worth it.
In life, you are always going to be your own boss. No one in this world will hit you harder than life will. Life will knock you down, perhaps a multitude of times, before you learn some hard-core, valuable lessons. You will feel agonizing anguish. You will scar. But, you will rise from all your troubles and become unstoppable, IF you take yourself seriously, IF you lead yourself into the light, IF you believe it's possible. You must push. You must not give in.
Because there will be days when you throw your hands in the air and say, F**K it all! There will be moments when all your hope is gone and you need something or someone to dig you out of your self-imposed vortex. Do not let that happen for too long, amigos.
BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, without anyone's aid. Only you know what you truly need to shine bright, sing loud, and live large.
It isn't easy, but it isn't hard, either. Through trial and error, you will be ok. Through perseverance, patience and a willingness to change, through good, bad, ugly, pretty and everything in-between, you will be successful.
I speak from experience. Believe my words. Believe in yourself, honestly, completely, fully. Life will not disappoint you if you are genuinely living YOUR TRUTH.
Monday 16 February 2015
Write your wrongs, and make them right...
When did I learn that writing was one of my 'signature strengths'?
It was in Grade 4, when my teacher announced to all the students that my stories and penmanship were extraordinary. She was the first person who acknowledged my work and her positive words gave me so much confidence. I excelled in my English studies all the way through high school, as a result of her sound tutelage and guidance.
When I started university, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. Quite frankly, I was frustrated. I knew that my strong suits were in sciences, languages, physical fitness and creative writing, but I had no idea how to fuse them all together to create one solid area of interest.
Fast forward to present day--if I knew then, what I know now, I would never have lost my 'joie de vivre'. I had such high expectations for myself that even I couldn't meet, I belittled myself for making mistakes and I lost so much sleep. My health was compromised because I couldn't make concrete decisions. I lived in my own head for a long time, and I didn't have faith in the words, 'everything will be ok'.
Until, I started writing in a journal. I always thought it was so hokey, to write thoughts down on paper that no one would ever read. But to this day, I still refer to my 'tales of woe' and it frightens me that I went through most of my 20's with blinders on.
Today, it's revelatory for me. I marvel at my own fortitude and wisdom. It's like, I already knew what I had to do all those years ago, but I was never truly ready to take on my 'self-worth project'. So I wasted a lot of time. I numbed my pain. I pretended I wasn't really suffering. Big mistake.
Even though I made a lot of wrong turns and got stuck, I turned things around and things got smoother. When I try to remember what my 'light bulb moment' was, I can't for the life of me remember was the impetus was, but one day, I simply woke up. The light was on, and it was dazzling.
The reason I enjoy writing in my blog, or composing daily status updates on Facebook is simple. I love to make people feel good about themselves. I like to zero in on all kinds of topics that are universal and relevant. I want to share my vulnerabilities and weaknesses because I'm imperfect and flawed. I want to help people see how priceless they are and how precious life is, no matter how bleak their situation might be. I am on a quest to write about my wrongs, and make them seem right. Through all of my ups and downs, I know that everything happened for the right reason.
I could've chosen to stay stuck and use fear as my excuse for not making any progress. But I was never satisfied with the 'status quo'. I've always liked pushing the envelope, coloring outside the lines, getting into my discomfort zone, shaking things up, keeping things fresh. I don't like mediocrity. I strive for excellence, in everything I do.
I want to continue to inspire the people who seek my counsel. Because I'm not afraid to shine brightly, anymore. If you're reading this, be comforted by the idea that none of us are truly alone. We must feel the entire spectrum of emotions to live a quality life. So when your days are at their darkest, and communicating your feelings to someone isn't an option, try this:
Invest in a notepad or journal and write everything down in pen.
Write your wrongs. I mean, get down to the 'nitty-gritty'. Because there will come a day when you're feeling 'on top of the world', and when you refer back to your journal, everything will seem right again. You know why? Because hardships and struggles are necessary--they are put in your path intentionally, so you can truly appreciate the good times when you have them.
Take it from me, it's a good investment of your time and energy. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, never cower or hide from them. Express yourself on paper if you can't do it in person.
And revisit your compositions, from time to time. You'll learn a lot about yourself, in the process..
I know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel and at the top of my game. Writing my wrongs, was always the right thing to do. It made me who I am today.
Strong. Capable. Lively. Resilient.
And to the Universe I say, "Thank you, for always having my back."
It was in Grade 4, when my teacher announced to all the students that my stories and penmanship were extraordinary. She was the first person who acknowledged my work and her positive words gave me so much confidence. I excelled in my English studies all the way through high school, as a result of her sound tutelage and guidance.
When I started university, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. Quite frankly, I was frustrated. I knew that my strong suits were in sciences, languages, physical fitness and creative writing, but I had no idea how to fuse them all together to create one solid area of interest.
Fast forward to present day--if I knew then, what I know now, I would never have lost my 'joie de vivre'. I had such high expectations for myself that even I couldn't meet, I belittled myself for making mistakes and I lost so much sleep. My health was compromised because I couldn't make concrete decisions. I lived in my own head for a long time, and I didn't have faith in the words, 'everything will be ok'.
Until, I started writing in a journal. I always thought it was so hokey, to write thoughts down on paper that no one would ever read. But to this day, I still refer to my 'tales of woe' and it frightens me that I went through most of my 20's with blinders on.
Today, it's revelatory for me. I marvel at my own fortitude and wisdom. It's like, I already knew what I had to do all those years ago, but I was never truly ready to take on my 'self-worth project'. So I wasted a lot of time. I numbed my pain. I pretended I wasn't really suffering. Big mistake.
Even though I made a lot of wrong turns and got stuck, I turned things around and things got smoother. When I try to remember what my 'light bulb moment' was, I can't for the life of me remember was the impetus was, but one day, I simply woke up. The light was on, and it was dazzling.
The reason I enjoy writing in my blog, or composing daily status updates on Facebook is simple. I love to make people feel good about themselves. I like to zero in on all kinds of topics that are universal and relevant. I want to share my vulnerabilities and weaknesses because I'm imperfect and flawed. I want to help people see how priceless they are and how precious life is, no matter how bleak their situation might be. I am on a quest to write about my wrongs, and make them seem right. Through all of my ups and downs, I know that everything happened for the right reason.
I could've chosen to stay stuck and use fear as my excuse for not making any progress. But I was never satisfied with the 'status quo'. I've always liked pushing the envelope, coloring outside the lines, getting into my discomfort zone, shaking things up, keeping things fresh. I don't like mediocrity. I strive for excellence, in everything I do.
I want to continue to inspire the people who seek my counsel. Because I'm not afraid to shine brightly, anymore. If you're reading this, be comforted by the idea that none of us are truly alone. We must feel the entire spectrum of emotions to live a quality life. So when your days are at their darkest, and communicating your feelings to someone isn't an option, try this:
Invest in a notepad or journal and write everything down in pen.
Write your wrongs. I mean, get down to the 'nitty-gritty'. Because there will come a day when you're feeling 'on top of the world', and when you refer back to your journal, everything will seem right again. You know why? Because hardships and struggles are necessary--they are put in your path intentionally, so you can truly appreciate the good times when you have them.
Take it from me, it's a good investment of your time and energy. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, never cower or hide from them. Express yourself on paper if you can't do it in person.
And revisit your compositions, from time to time. You'll learn a lot about yourself, in the process..
I know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel and at the top of my game. Writing my wrongs, was always the right thing to do. It made me who I am today.
Strong. Capable. Lively. Resilient.
And to the Universe I say, "Thank you, for always having my back."
Wednesday 28 January 2015
The urge to purge...
We're one month into 2015, and already I've experienced a 'mixed bag' of emotions since the start of New Year. There were a few bumps on the road at the beginning of January, but I must admit: it's looking rather bright as I peer ahead into the coming months.
Every January, I tend to get very cerebral and over-think things regarding my career, my family, my close friends and myself. I begin to do my house-keeping, if you will.
I've never been more happy than I am today, in my chosen field. I have totally found my niche. But, like a chef who is only as good as his last meal, I have always thought that I am only as good as my last fitness class. In my 20's and 30's, I was plagued with insecurity because I wanted everyone to like me. But, in my 40's, I have purged the idea that I need to be a 'people pleaser'. All I need to do is be me. Take me or leave me. And I truly feel confident about that.
For me, my family is a great source of happiness. I am utterly blessed to have such supportive parents, the coolest cousins, a fantastic husband and loving in-laws. In my life, it's not uncommon for me to feel occasional disappointment from those who are closest to me. I know that I'd like a better relationship with my only sibling. I know that I'd like to be less reactive when the people who know me well 'push my buttons'. I know that to live a life free of emotional stress, I must purge any toxicity that builds in my system (via communication) and still continue to function. And I make a concerted effort to do that, every single day.
Oh, how I love my friends--especially the ones who have stuck around through all the stages of my growth. I cannot express the joy I feel to have a small group of comrades who I know, without hesitation, would be alongside me if I needed them to be. I have purged the idea that I need to have a plethora of friends to be content. I merely need a handful. I feel like I finally hit the jackpot in my 40's. And another thing: I recently eliminated 50 people from my Facebook page who no longer needed to be on my 'friend list'. My new purge rule for social media is: If I haven't seen you, spoken to you, had a meal with you in over 2 years, you simply aren't a part of my network. No offence. So, hey, if you're reading this, you're in good standing. You matter to me. I think you're fascinating.
And finally: ME. I bet you're wondering what I need to purge when it comes to how I view myself in this big, bad world. I will tell you:
I need to purge the negativity that swirls in my head, from time to time. I need to purge the anger I sometimes feel when I don't get my way. I need to purge the sarcasm that seems to flow from my mouth like a waterfall, when I don't feel I'm being validated or heard (Note: See my video blog on my Facebook page about my 40 day experiment). And finally, I continually need to get real with the person I see in the mirror, every single day. Life isn't perfect for me, it certainly isn't easy, but it needs to be lived and embraced, not strangled and suppressed.
And so, my friends, I ask you this: is there anything you need to purge this year, in order to live a life free of stress, anxiety and fear? After all, FEAR stands for 'false experiences appearing real'. What do you need to get rid of, once and for all, so you can be liberated from pain, anguish and heartache? May I make a suggestion?
Get on that, right quick. Don't delay your feelings of elation. Do your very best to uncover everything that brings a smile to your face--the people, the things, the places, the experiences. And never let that go.
Make the move, kids. It's your time to shine.
Until my next post...be healthy.
Every January, I tend to get very cerebral and over-think things regarding my career, my family, my close friends and myself. I begin to do my house-keeping, if you will.
I've never been more happy than I am today, in my chosen field. I have totally found my niche. But, like a chef who is only as good as his last meal, I have always thought that I am only as good as my last fitness class. In my 20's and 30's, I was plagued with insecurity because I wanted everyone to like me. But, in my 40's, I have purged the idea that I need to be a 'people pleaser'. All I need to do is be me. Take me or leave me. And I truly feel confident about that.
For me, my family is a great source of happiness. I am utterly blessed to have such supportive parents, the coolest cousins, a fantastic husband and loving in-laws. In my life, it's not uncommon for me to feel occasional disappointment from those who are closest to me. I know that I'd like a better relationship with my only sibling. I know that I'd like to be less reactive when the people who know me well 'push my buttons'. I know that to live a life free of emotional stress, I must purge any toxicity that builds in my system (via communication) and still continue to function. And I make a concerted effort to do that, every single day.
Oh, how I love my friends--especially the ones who have stuck around through all the stages of my growth. I cannot express the joy I feel to have a small group of comrades who I know, without hesitation, would be alongside me if I needed them to be. I have purged the idea that I need to have a plethora of friends to be content. I merely need a handful. I feel like I finally hit the jackpot in my 40's. And another thing: I recently eliminated 50 people from my Facebook page who no longer needed to be on my 'friend list'. My new purge rule for social media is: If I haven't seen you, spoken to you, had a meal with you in over 2 years, you simply aren't a part of my network. No offence. So, hey, if you're reading this, you're in good standing. You matter to me. I think you're fascinating.
And finally: ME. I bet you're wondering what I need to purge when it comes to how I view myself in this big, bad world. I will tell you:
I need to purge the negativity that swirls in my head, from time to time. I need to purge the anger I sometimes feel when I don't get my way. I need to purge the sarcasm that seems to flow from my mouth like a waterfall, when I don't feel I'm being validated or heard (Note: See my video blog on my Facebook page about my 40 day experiment). And finally, I continually need to get real with the person I see in the mirror, every single day. Life isn't perfect for me, it certainly isn't easy, but it needs to be lived and embraced, not strangled and suppressed.
And so, my friends, I ask you this: is there anything you need to purge this year, in order to live a life free of stress, anxiety and fear? After all, FEAR stands for 'false experiences appearing real'. What do you need to get rid of, once and for all, so you can be liberated from pain, anguish and heartache? May I make a suggestion?
Get on that, right quick. Don't delay your feelings of elation. Do your very best to uncover everything that brings a smile to your face--the people, the things, the places, the experiences. And never let that go.
Make the move, kids. It's your time to shine.
Until my next post...be healthy.
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