Monday 20 May 2013
Do you FEEL your age?
If you've read my most recent post entitled, 'What I know for sure', you'd know that turning another year older is something that I actually enjoy, rather than dread. Yesterday was my 41st birthday, and along with it, came some beautiful gifts, a few drinks, tasty food and time spent with family.
I suppose the only thing that really perplexes me about being 41, is that I don't look it or feel it. Many would say I'm lucky--who the heck wants to 'feel' their age, anyway? I think I'm blessed, really--I come from a fit family who always takes pride in eating healthfully and exercising regularly.
My father was an avid runner for most of his adult life. He used to run a mile in 6 minutes. My mother was a fitness instructor for over 25 years, and still conducts personal training sessions with her clients in their homes. Racquetball, squash and cycling were also activities my parents engaged in during the 80's and 90's. It's because of them that I feel so young and I hope to be the same kind of positive influence for my future child(ren), someday. You can bet your bottom dollar, I will strive for that.
So, here's how I feel, the day after turning 41:
* A relative said this to me in my 20's and it literally stuck: 'Your 40's will be the best years of your life'. Well so far, so great. I have zero interest in going back to my previous self and I can honestly say that my progress just this past year alone, has been huge.
* I've never looked forward to anything with so much zest, before. What has really helped me is a strong line of communication with the people I see the most. I never used to be big on opening up and displaying vulnerability. I've become a big softy and I'm optimistic about the future.
* It's nice to hear from others that I have 'good energy'. I get that a lot. Frankly, having energy is something that I need to constantly work on. What keeps me young and vibrant? A good sleeping schedule that I adhere to, a balanced diet (complete with copious amounts of chocolate), a work schedule that keeps me feeling fit and constantly creative, my awesome husband who always keeps me 'on my toes', and a supportive circle of friends and family.
The best advice I can offer to anyone: find your passion. It took me just over 30 years to hone in on mine. No one forced me to find it. When I felt 'enough was enough', I took control of myself with one mantra that, to this day, I continue to repeat whenever I feel 'off'. Strength comes in many forms, and I draw mine from focusing on the bigger picture. G-d bless the 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' series of books. If you've never read them, they are superb references that make you open your eyes all over again and focus on what's truly important.
Bottom line: If you ever find something in your life that makes you feel unstoppable, stick with it forever. Sure, it's just one component of your life, but if it makes you feel alive with GUSTO, hang on and never let go.
Take it from me, the 41-year-old. Squeeze the juice out of life.
Friday 10 May 2013
What I know for sure...
It's been a very interesting year, indeed. I'm on the verge of turning 41, and by golly, that number still throws me for a loop. Not because I'm sad about it; on the contrary, I'm rather happy about it. Unlike others, I don't want to turn the clock back. I'm pretty content in the skin I'm in.
The other day, I looked at my face in the mirror and I examined all of my facial freckles. I started to think: they're a compilation of all my years on the planet. My freckle-face has weathered storms, so to speak. I don't ever assume to know everything, but I certainly have developed a keen sense of self, just this year alone. After all the 'wear and tear', I have developed a short list of 10 things I know for sure:
1. My mother was right. About most things. Especially about matters of the heart. I don't know about anyone else reading this, but when I was dating, my mom instinctively knew which boys were well-intentioned and which ones weren't. She developed a 'guy-dar', so to speak...(I just made that up). And while I kicked and literally screamed in my 20's and 30's, I learned to tame my temper a little bit more in my 40's. Low and behold, when I started to dig the skin I was in, I attracted the right kind of guy.
2. Loving yourself through the bad and ugly times is just as integral as loving yourself in the good times. I used to suffer emotionally, because if ONE lousy person would say something to ruin my mood, my day would be shot. Not so, anymore. I believe that as soon as I hit 40, my mentality shifted gears. Ok, I still get a little hot-headed from time to time (give me a break, I'm a natural redhead), but I don't let my emotions overwhelm me or fester for too long. Life's too awesome for that nonsense.
3. Being a home owner has really made me smarten up in the best way possible. I really believe that my home is my safe haven and I lovingly care for it. I especially adore the feeling I get when I enter the front door each day. It has a fresh, clean linen smell that drives me wild. I've NEVER felt this way about any home/condo/apartment that I've ever lived in. Somehow, my current abode leaves an indelible mark in my mind and I'm in love (in more ways than one).
4. If you have read any of my previous posts, you'd know that I once suffered with major body image issues and an eating disorder. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am, to have permanently eliminated all negative feelings about exercise/food/my well-being. I chose a vocation that specializes in making people feel good about their bodies. Therefore, if you're going to walk the walk, you have to talk the talk.
5. Anger is a killer. And yes, for decades I let my anger get the best of me. What I know for sure is that if I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. In retrospect, I could have saved myself so many years of anguish and needless suffering. I guess things happen for a reason.
6. If you don't create things/events in your life to look forward to, you're merely existing. Living each day with verve--that's where it's at! I married a man who loves to plan ahead. He's like a kid in a candy store, really. It's quite endearing to see him get so giddy about wonderful things, like going out to restaurants, concerts, taking vacations and attending family events. All of his boundless enthusiasm has really worn off on me. And the best part is, I love that.
7. Sometimes, you just have to let go. You can't push or force things to be a certain way. Backing off is hard to do. Relinquishing control is just as challenging. And while we all want some semblance of control of our destiny, certain forces are still going to prevail and reign supreme. I've learned the hard way, that if it's supposed to come into your life, it will. No ifs, ands or buts.
8. The one element in my life that has always healed me through countless heartaches and heartbreaks: music. It really is the food of life, love and liberty. Sometimes I look up at the sky and wonder what life would be like without it, but I sure as hell don't want to find out. When I was in my 20's and feeling depressed, music was my best friend. And I don't know a single soul out there who would ever argue that music hasn't done something for their well-being. Music makes the world go round.
9. My extended family has become more important to me in my 40's, than they ever were in all of my existence. I have many cousins all over the world, and I don't ever want to lose my connection to them. Distance usually causes rifts, but I want to keep my bridges intact.
10. Heck, if your attitude is in-check, then turning another year older is a cinch. Sure, I have many regrets. Apparently, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It all comes down to having a belief. For decades, my beliefs alluded me, but I found them, buried underneath a shitload of rubble. Thank goodness.
I hope I made you smile today. Thanks for reading.
The other day, I looked at my face in the mirror and I examined all of my facial freckles. I started to think: they're a compilation of all my years on the planet. My freckle-face has weathered storms, so to speak. I don't ever assume to know everything, but I certainly have developed a keen sense of self, just this year alone. After all the 'wear and tear', I have developed a short list of 10 things I know for sure:
1. My mother was right. About most things. Especially about matters of the heart. I don't know about anyone else reading this, but when I was dating, my mom instinctively knew which boys were well-intentioned and which ones weren't. She developed a 'guy-dar', so to speak...(I just made that up). And while I kicked and literally screamed in my 20's and 30's, I learned to tame my temper a little bit more in my 40's. Low and behold, when I started to dig the skin I was in, I attracted the right kind of guy.
2. Loving yourself through the bad and ugly times is just as integral as loving yourself in the good times. I used to suffer emotionally, because if ONE lousy person would say something to ruin my mood, my day would be shot. Not so, anymore. I believe that as soon as I hit 40, my mentality shifted gears. Ok, I still get a little hot-headed from time to time (give me a break, I'm a natural redhead), but I don't let my emotions overwhelm me or fester for too long. Life's too awesome for that nonsense.
3. Being a home owner has really made me smarten up in the best way possible. I really believe that my home is my safe haven and I lovingly care for it. I especially adore the feeling I get when I enter the front door each day. It has a fresh, clean linen smell that drives me wild. I've NEVER felt this way about any home/condo/apartment that I've ever lived in. Somehow, my current abode leaves an indelible mark in my mind and I'm in love (in more ways than one).
4. If you have read any of my previous posts, you'd know that I once suffered with major body image issues and an eating disorder. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am, to have permanently eliminated all negative feelings about exercise/food/my well-being. I chose a vocation that specializes in making people feel good about their bodies. Therefore, if you're going to walk the walk, you have to talk the talk.
5. Anger is a killer. And yes, for decades I let my anger get the best of me. What I know for sure is that if I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. In retrospect, I could have saved myself so many years of anguish and needless suffering. I guess things happen for a reason.
6. If you don't create things/events in your life to look forward to, you're merely existing. Living each day with verve--that's where it's at! I married a man who loves to plan ahead. He's like a kid in a candy store, really. It's quite endearing to see him get so giddy about wonderful things, like going out to restaurants, concerts, taking vacations and attending family events. All of his boundless enthusiasm has really worn off on me. And the best part is, I love that.
7. Sometimes, you just have to let go. You can't push or force things to be a certain way. Backing off is hard to do. Relinquishing control is just as challenging. And while we all want some semblance of control of our destiny, certain forces are still going to prevail and reign supreme. I've learned the hard way, that if it's supposed to come into your life, it will. No ifs, ands or buts.
8. The one element in my life that has always healed me through countless heartaches and heartbreaks: music. It really is the food of life, love and liberty. Sometimes I look up at the sky and wonder what life would be like without it, but I sure as hell don't want to find out. When I was in my 20's and feeling depressed, music was my best friend. And I don't know a single soul out there who would ever argue that music hasn't done something for their well-being. Music makes the world go round.
9. My extended family has become more important to me in my 40's, than they ever were in all of my existence. I have many cousins all over the world, and I don't ever want to lose my connection to them. Distance usually causes rifts, but I want to keep my bridges intact.
10. Heck, if your attitude is in-check, then turning another year older is a cinch. Sure, I have many regrets. Apparently, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It all comes down to having a belief. For decades, my beliefs alluded me, but I found them, buried underneath a shitload of rubble. Thank goodness.
I hope I made you smile today. Thanks for reading.
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