Be your own advocate...

I've always believed, that there's nothing like starting the day on the right foot.  I'm truly lucky to have the wonderful Jeffrey R. Smith in my world, because every couple of weeks, we get together and bounce ideas and stories off each other.  There's always a ton of knowledge and wisdom thrown around.  With both of us born under the sign of the bull (Taurus), it has its perks.  I'm privy to hearing his logical perspective on many universal topics.  His words are enlightening, his viewpoints are refreshing and at his core, he's very earthy, reliable and loyal.  Good combination.

Which brings me to the topic of this post...and thanks for idea, Jeffrey.

When we're young, we are all trying to find our way in the world.  We try things, we mess up, we learn (hopefully), we experience 'growing pains'.  But, when we're established, mature (hopefully) and well on our way, who is responsible for our daily routines?  Who is the one to propel us to greatness?  Who decides whether we are sick, healthy, lazy, motivated?  We are.

I used to be really skilled at the blame game.  I rarely took responsibility for my actions.  In my 20's, I was frivolous, careless, and had a 'devil may care' attitude towards life.  I was promiscuous, lost, depressed and I kept hitting walls.  I didn't know how to steer myself away from pain.  I ended up stuck.  I hated it, immensely.

When I became my own advocate, things began to transform.  Slowly.  Inch by inch, I gained more insight, more power and a deeper sense of hope.  It all began when I started to live on my own.  I would come home every day to my condo in the sky and then, it would get really quiet.  I truly relished in my 'alone time' and knew that this was a big test put in front of me, to see if I could fly on my own.  But I still screwed up.  A lot. 

After a seven year run of being 'solo' in my one bedroom abode, I started to get really sick of it.  I became fearful of being alone.  From 2003 to 2010, I had an opportunity to shape my life, in any way I wished.  It was frightening, exciting and maddening, all at once.  I remember waking up sometimes as early as 3am, writing fervently in my journal, dancing to house music that blared from my headphones, sweating away my sorrows, releasing my anguish.  But it didn't really get rid of my pain.  I was just covering it up.  I did anything to numb my feelings.

When I moved out of my condo, I met Jason, and bought a house, and became a wife, and started pooling my resources with him.  And miraculously, everything fell into place.  I became my own advocate for truth, responsible behaviour, true love.  And for the first time, I felt liberated and my body started humming in a way I hadn't felt before.  I was finally on the right path.  It took me almost 40 years, my friends, but I found my true calling.  And all the pain I felt for decades beforehand, was worth it. 

In life, you are always going to be your own boss.  No one in this world will hit you harder than life will.  Life will knock you down, perhaps a multitude of times, before you learn some hard-core, valuable lessons.  You will feel agonizing anguish.  You will scar.  But, you will rise from all your troubles and become unstoppable, IF you take yourself seriously, IF you lead yourself into the light, IF you believe it's possible.  You must push.  You must not give in. 

Because there will be days when you throw your hands in the air and say, F**K it all!  There will be moments when all your hope is gone and you need something or someone to dig you out of your self-imposed vortex.  Do not let that happen for too long, amigos.

BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, without anyone's aid.  Only you know what you truly need to shine bright, sing loud,  and live large.

It isn't easy, but it isn't hard, either.  Through trial and error, you will be ok.  Through perseverance, patience and a willingness to change, through good, bad, ugly, pretty and everything in-between, you will be successful. 

I speak from experience.  Believe my words.  Believe in yourself, honestly, completely, fully.  Life will not disappoint you if you are genuinely living YOUR TRUTH.